My boyfriend and I have talked about this, but I'm still not totally reassured and would like to know what other people think...
During the summer my boyfriend started getting to know a friend of mine. They talked on the phone quite a lot when she wasn't working at camp, and called her the day she got back. She broke up with her boyfriend over the summer, having discussed it at length with my boyfriend and not even mentioning it to anyone else (including her best friend with whom she is practically inseparable). After that they hung out at soccer tournaments (they both play in the same league) where he let her wear his necklace (which he rarely takes off) while he played and even told me she looked like the greek goddess of hunting (Artemis??) because the necklace is an aboriginal design and she was wearing brown. She even made him a weaved bracelet which he wears every day and never takes off.
He told me all of it means nothing and now that school's back on he says he rarely talks to her, but she's always smiling and saying hi to him when we see her and totally ignoring me... she goes out of her way to be around him when I'm not and is constantly reaching across me to touch his shoulder, chest, etc. He says he doesn't like her and that I have no reason to be worried... but I still can't help feeling that I DO have reason...
Can I get any opinions on this? Am I totally crazy to be worried or I am justified in feeling insecure here?
Jealousy can be a nasty beast. Bravo for talking to your boyfriend about it. I might suggest though, telling him that her behavior bothers you immensely. Only he can put a stop to it.
It seems to me that this other girl is very comfortable around your boyfriend. She might be his friend, she might want to be something else, and only she knows. You can also try talking directly to this girl, but keep your cool and don't get overly nasty. Defenses go up, and nothing gets accomplished.
After reading the first part I would say yes he is doing something with her behind your back, but believe me it is easier to break up with that person then to live with them in doubts.
my ex gf say " das you don't trust me do you?" and I say " I do until you give me a reson not to, how can I trust you after you call your exes, hang out with them and talk to them on computer?" Point is you should have a talk with him and let him know how much it bothers you and see what he does if he tells this other girl to leave him alone and she does then it's all ok, if nothing changes...you know what to do
Posts: 4 | From: Milwuakee, WI, USA | Registered: Dec 2005
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The thing is, Das, there's no harm in being friends with an ex. Stereotyping isn't okay here, and insinuating that all exes are out to destroy relationships really isn't a good thing. Also, there's no harm in being friends with the opposite sex. Just because I have a friend who's male doesn't mean I'm going to cheat on my boyfriend.
Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000
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