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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » help!

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Author Topic: help!
Member # 26595

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ok, so i have this friend. well not just any friend but my best friend. Shes going thru a rough time with her boyfriend (ex now) because he was always flirting with other girls, now when i mean flirting i don't mean the casual hugging or anything i mean like writing in some girls yearbook saying stuff you definatly would not say if you werent single, and said stuff to another girl on my best friends computer.. Mostly more then half of the school has told her that she did the right thing and that he is flith, but last night at a sleep over we had i think she changed her mind because he called her at 3 oclock in the morning and guilt tripped her and said some stuff that see feel for and now shes reconcidering her choice or dumping him, i really wish there was someway i can open her eyes, cause i hate too see her feel like **** the way that she did when she read all the things, is there any advice i can give her

Posts: 1 | From: Orillia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 3

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Well, a leopard doesn't change its spots overnight.

So, perhaps ask her to consider not rushing in. rather than walking right back into a capital-R relationship with this guy, for instance, maybe she can consider dating him more casually first, or even just being friends, to feel out if he really is able to treat her with respect, to honor whatever agreements she'd want to make about exclusivity.

You might also suggest to her that guilting someone into being with you is already a pretty clear indicator of a lack of respect. Someone doing that isn't considering the other person's needs: only their own wants.

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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