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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » what do they mean?

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Author Topic: what do they mean?
Dymes
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Well Im wondering when a girl argues with a guy. B/F of course unless they do this with guy friends aswell... But if a girl gets into an argument with her b/f and says that she doesnt want to see him nor talk to him because she is mad. and the guy just simply agrees with out her knowing and a few days later she calls and asks why havent you called? but then the guy tells her that well he respected her decision and didnt boder to call or w/e and she ends up getting mad.. I mean for one she said for him not to call her nor go visit her right? but then is mad because he didnt boder calling... is it really about attention here?
Posts: 119 | From: Chmblee,GA | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
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Many things are said during arguments. Some of them are serious, others are not.

My friend fights with her husband, says she's going to leave, and gets mad when her husband lets her. She wants him to tell her no, not to leave, so they can kiss and make up. But that's just her.

Attention? Perhaps. It sounds like a good guess to me. But to truly find out, ask the person in quesiton.


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ghosty
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All I can say that from my own experience, I really hate such behaviour.

When my gf is mad, she is constantly ignoring me, turning the other way around, no matter if she is mad at me or if I'm mad at her, which I rarely am.

However she wants me to confort her and to "get her to feel better" while she is ignoring me.
And the typical behaviour over the phone, she hangs up, but then expects me to call.

But it has become better, in fact much better. I've told her what I don't accept and what she shouldn't count on. I've also, refused myself to contact her until I hear contact first, which helped a lot.

Today she respects me a lot more, and is more understanding when it comes to that part, also a positive effect is that, nowdays she says, I don't want/can't talk about this right now, we can talk later. That means when one of wants to talk again we talk.

I believe it is pure attention and "I'm Ms right thing" I think it's wrong no matter how angry and upset you are, you can't treat your partner/friend like everything is their fault and they have to make things better again on their own. Both are responsible for their own behaviour.
One can't affect their feelings, nor change the way they feel, but they can change their reaction and what they do.


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firefox1337
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thanks ghostly I was going to ask a similar question and didnt really know how to put it but my girlfriend does the same thing thanks
Posts: 20 | From: Nevada | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ghosty
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quote:
Originally posted by firefox1337:
thanks ghostly I was going to ask a similar question and didnt really know how to put it but my girlfriend does the same thing thanks

I hope it will change Because it gets better for both of you if it does.


Posts: 79 | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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