Normal is what is normal for YOU. There really, truly is no normal that fits all. That's a malarkey idea: everyoene has different comfort levels when it comes to sex, affection and intimacy in general AND with specific people.
But the real issue seems to be that you have boundaries, but feel you don't have the self-control to abide by them yourself, and that IS likely to be a problem: for you, for the partners who will inevitably become pretty confused and lost. Why don't you feel you're able to have those internal controls, or really take the time to slowly feel out your comfort zones?
Per the lying, thing is....well, it's twofold:
1. In general, getting to know someone involves establishing trust, over time, AND
2. Getting involved at a sane pace that allows that to happen, without endangering you overmuch physiocally or emotionally.
(I'm going to move this to the Relationships forum, so that this discussion can continue without endless new threads in this forum.)
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