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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Why

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Author Topic: Why
Member # 7983

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My boyfriend and i have been going out for almost two years now i love him alot and we plan on staying together we always have a 3m onth year old lil boy but it seems that he is very insecure about things. He always thinks i am with another guy or want to talk to another guy and i tell him that i only want to be with him but he just won't shake the idea that i am. How can i show him that i only want to be with him i tell him but i guess thats not enough. He is very insecure because he has got his heartbroken before and he dosen't want to have that happen again but i told him that he is leaving in the past.
Posts: 63 | From: SouthCarolina | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 23350

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You both should go to therapy. Believe me when I say the problem he has isn't with you. So no matter how much you try to show him you care or no matter how much you try to reassure him it won't work because he doesn't wanna allow himself to believe you. Its just a defense he's put up so he won't get hurt again. He needs to learn to heal his wounds the right way and I'm sure your support would be just that extra push he needs.
Posts: 50 | From: Brooklyn, New York, U.S. | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1386

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from our sexpert and all around wise woman Gumdrop Girl

The following information was given to me by a classmate of mine who works extensively with battered women, but it all applies to both men and women.

Read ths following and if you check two or more on this list, you are in a relationship that is not safe for you.
[] My partner is very jealous, gets jealous easily
[] My partner follows me around, checks up on me a lot
[] My partner tries to control how I dress or who I spend time with (friends, family, coworkers)
[] My partner yells, calls me names, puts me down
[] I hide things that I think would upset or anger my partner (phone numbers, letters, photos)
[] I am afraid to say no to sex
[] My partner threatens me, or has threatened me
[]My partner hits, throws or breaks things when angry
[] I am fraid to disagree with my partner
[] My partner has pushed, slapped, punched or otherwise hurt me
[]I feel like my partner's anger is my fault

And some links to check out if you think this applies to you and you need more help:
Break the Cycle - Empowering Youth to End Domestic Violence
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

- Galileo

Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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