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hAuNtS
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Member # 25324

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Sup....well i'm 15 ummm i'm a guy uhhh i'm in 10th grade and my moms a total control freak. I can't tell her anything because she'll turn it around and tell everyone at work or in my family. She doesn't let me do anything the way I'd like to. Such as my room, I have like 3 picks of Teddy Bears in my room (keep in mind i'm a 15 year old guy) and when I try to take them down or something she flips and says If I don't like it I should move out but when I say I wanna live with my grandparents she just laughs at me and tells everyone she knows (work, family, ect). I can't tell her anything and she snaps on little things. She cleans the house everynight and I'm just sick of her stupid rules and I want a little independence. I feel like i'm not me, i'm just a puppet she controls...can anyone help?
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-Jill
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Have you tried sitting her down at a time when both of you are calm and discussing this? It might even help to make an appointment with her and write down what you want to say ahead of time. If you can be calm and reasonable with her she's more likely to take you seriously.

Is it just the two of you or is there another parent or a sibling who might be able to help you find some middle ground? If it's just the two of you and you want some extra support try an aunt or an uncle or perhaps one of your mom's friends. Even if they're unwilling to help you talk to your mom they might be able to help you see her prespective.


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
hAuNtS
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heh it looks good in words but it wouldn't work talking to her. She'd think i'd need a shrink or something...And about like a middle guy I have a dad who goes along with whatever my mom says (just to avoid conflict) and a brother who is in college so i'm alone lol...No one else would back me up on this though because when other people are around she puts on a "mask" and acts all nice but when i'm just around she just complains constantly, it gets very annoying. With school she makes me feel like i'm some type of idiot who can't do anything then always complains when I get like a C- or something but when i get A's i don't hear anything. Then I had to take care of my Grandma for about a week so she brought stuff down (snacks, stuff for meals, drinks, ect) and I finished some Orange Juice and I called to ask if she could bring more down and she flipped and is like "You aren't getting any more Orange Juice, You've had enough." I thought orange juice was good for you?? Nothing I do (as in do, eat, drink, say, think, ect) is good enough for her and she always finds something to complain about.
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Kisses Me Pink
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It won't help your situation, except from your mental point of view, but seeing a guidance counseler can help. Just someone who'll listen to you, and help you through it. Sadly enough, she's your mom and unless she's being abusive in any way, you can't do anything about it.

Some people are just not meant to be mothers. As horrible as that sounds, I really don't think some people are cut out for it. Because along with having a child and raising it, you also have to know how to at least start to let go at certain times. And she sounds like one who's just not gonna ever be ready. On the flip side, it's not her decision in 2-3 years. So you do have at least something to look forward to.


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-Jill
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Perhaps a shrink, more specifically a family counselor, could be helpful. Your mom might be more willing to listen to an objective third party than she is to you.

It might be hard to bring family counseling up but if you seek out counseling on your own like Kisses Me Pink suggested she might see that you're serious about it. It also might persuade her to give counseling a shot if your therapist asks her to come in.


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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