so you all know that i posted about my so-called 'best friend' before. well now she is pissing me off even more.

today we were soposed to go to a feast. i called her up and told her that i couldnt go with her, cuz i didnt want to walk around and stand on my leg that long, because i just had major knee surgery. i made it clear to her, that i did want to go but it wasnt for my own good. i also made it clear to her, that i did want to see her.

she then told me that she was aggrevated with me. i asked her why and she said 'you spend everyday with your boyfriend, you know thats pissing me off'.

i mean should that bother her? i mean i am 21 and i plan on spending the rest of my life with my boyfriend. i make time for my friends, just last wkend i went away for the wkend to see my friends from college, without my boyfriend. i always hung out with my friends when i was at school with out my bf. i dont have to be with him 24/7 but i do like to see him everyday.

thanks for the advice, but if you have read my other posts and history then you know my 'friend' hasnt really been that great of a friend. so now i dont know what to do.

i went to the feast with my mom, and i called her when i got there, and she told me she was with her other friend and she didnt know what time shed be getting to the feast. she told me she would meet me there, but didnt end up doing so.

Brite, this friend really may be a lost cause. From what you've said in other posts and what you're saying now, it seems like you're trying to be the only friend here- that you're giving in this relationship and she's just not willing to see things in any other way but her own.

If I were you, I wouldn't completely ignore her, but she has to be the one to come to you, not the other way around. It's clear you have interest in maintaining this friendship or you would not be asking us about it and not be trying to talk to her; she has to show she cares about it the same way and to do that she has to start working with you rather than what she seems to be doing now.

thanks for the help. i really appreciate it.

i think she may be a lost cause. she is 3 yrs younger than me so i think she still may be on the immature side.

its just hard cuz she was sopposed to be my 'best friend' and as soon as i come home from college it all changes. ive been there for her thru EVERYTHING. thru pledging and dropping a sorority, to loosing a boyfriend, just everything, and this is the thanks i get...

I had a similar situation with my best friend when we moved away (separately) to college and then I met my fiance. We had been very very close prior to that, and she had a lot of difficulty adapting to the changes going on. Remember that many times when we are experiencing changes in our lives, those closest to us can be slow to adapt. Sure, it seems to make perfect sense on your end...you've met someone you care deeply for and you want to spend some time with him. And you're not with him every single second, so nothing's wrong, right? But from her perspective...she has to share your affections now. There is someone else in the picture who is threatening her status as "best friend". There will be someone else you're sharing your secrets with, someone else you will be very close with. She may not know what her new place will be in your life now. That's a pretty scary place to be, wouldn't you say? I mean, who hasn't seen that person who completely abandons their other relationships once they have a partner?

It's important to sit down with her and really talk about what's going on. Reassure her that she's still your friend and that she still has a place in your life. Your life is changing right now, and that's okay. People's lives change. And friendships have to change in order to keep up. She may just need some reassurance and some time to get used to the new situation.

One of two things will happen here. Either your relationship will adapt to the new situation, or it won't. Friends are going to come and go. Some relationships can't survive these kinds of changes. But either way, I wouldn't write her off until you try to see it from her perspective and you two REALLY talk about what's going on. Remember that things are not necessarily ever again going to be EXACTLY the way they were before and that's ok.

Patience, grasshopper.

thanks for the advice. i appreciate it.

my sister saw her at the feast, and come to find out she was high. she smoked pot before she went. so she ended up blowing me off, and not meeting me there so she could smoke and get high. nice huh?