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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » racist parents

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Author Topic: racist parents
dotta
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Member # 20900

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My parents grew up to be really racist. I grew up learning that everyone is the same. Eventually that is going to cause some differences along the way, especcially since Im white and dating a black guy. My parents dont know yet but i mean how long can you keep it from them? They already think i have a secret life, which is kinda true bc i cant bear to tell them my boyfriend is black.I know there is nothing wrong with it but my parents would seriously disown me! This whole thing causes me soooo much stress you wouldnt believe but i dont know what to do!!! HELP!
Posts: 76 | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CrimsonCriminal
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Hey,

there is a very big difference between generations.My parents sometimes have views I don't agree with, regarding homosexuality and such, and they are racist a bit, but not extremely. I guess it's a bit like telling conservative parents that you're gay or bi: pick a good moment, do it calmly, and go with pride. Truth and love are your most useful tools, use them to your full advantage.


Posts: 105 | From: Australia | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dotta
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are you gay (refrence to the homosexuality)? and if you are how did you tell your parents, how did they react, and how long did it take them to cool off?
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trashyflowers
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I wouldn't let my parents dictate my life if i were you.. i'm a freshman in highschool and i have this "thing" going on with a black senior.. my parents let me say are not too pleased. My mom says she's not racist but she knows that if anyting were to happen with me and this guy that many people would talk, she knows what it's like because my dad is a dark skinned hispanic to the point where he could pass as black and she's hispanic, but she looks white.

i love my parents but i'm going to be with who i want to be with, i told my mom that if she loved me she'd want me to be happy. so whenever she makes a comment i say " just let me be happy" and that shuts her up. she gave birth to me, if your mom's like mine, i'm sure she wouldn't want you to be upset or unhappy. be confident in what you want, don't let anyone push you into making decisions your not happy making. it's your life and your not doing anyting that is illegal or could hurt you. ask your mom this, would she rather you be on drugs, or dating a white drug dealer? having unprotected sex? stealing?.. there are many worst things you could do, she should be happy that you chose this instead.

or you could just tell your parents that it's nothing serious and that it probably wont last.. even if you think it will. tell them it's a phase something you need to experiment with and you'll get back to them in a couple of years


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CrimsonCriminal
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No, I'm not gay, but I am bi. I never had to tell my parents, because mom is very liberal and doesn't mind whatever I do with my sex life as long as it's safe and I would prefer my father to stay as unaware of my private life as possible. It's a strange arrangement.

There are many great articles on ST about telling your parents that you're gay, so maybe you could tweak and change those articles to help you, it's very strange sometimes how apparently unrelated information can come in very handy.


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dotta
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trashyflowers, you're right but my mom thinks she can run my life and has for the past 18 years. Everytime I try to do things on my own or do what I want I somehow become "problem child" or whatever. Everything seems to have to be her way, and she's so difficult about everything.
Posts: 76 | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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