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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » What Gives?

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Author Topic: What Gives?
TheOriginalMexicanPimp!
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Member # 15276

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Hello oh great knowledgable ones, I'm in a bit of a fix and I was hoping to get some advice from some level-headed people.
I'm 16. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I have had a number of girlfriends in the past, and believe myself to be well with the ladies. Now here I am, sophomore in high school, and gf-less for over a year. I find myself the proverbial object of affection of a number of girls, but the problem is that after a couple of relationships I've found that I want more out of them. All my friends tell me I should take advantage of the girls who like me but frankly, I just couldn't do that. I'm a likable guy, mature, communicates well, but I can't seem to find a girl I honestly want to have a relationship with. I've searched other schools and still I find that no girl keeps my interest for long. Everyone around me seems to be hooking up right and left, and I'm beginning to think I'll have to lower my standards. Tell me, are guys like me hopeless?

BTW: I am neither Mexican, nor a pimp. I simply love the phrase, is all.

[This message has been edited by TheOriginalMexicanPimp! (edited 10-27-2003).]


Posts: 2 | From: Ohio! >=D | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
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Member # 3072

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quote:
Originally posted by TheOriginalMexicanPimp!:
Tell me, are guys like me hopeless?

Well, I dunno dude. I live a stone's-throw from Mexico, but darned if I've ever seen a Mexican Pimp before...

I'd like to introduce you to a nice old adage BuinGranny once told me when I was just a wee BruinBoy. "A watched kettle never boils." Heard of it? Quite famous, with varieties that span cultures, languages, and continents. Why so popular? Because it's completely true. That which we look for becomes much more difficult to find when we're spending every waking hour trying to find it.

Counterintuitive as it sounds, you are living proof that it's true. You're "searching" all over the place, including other schools, and are coming up short. Why not stop looking and wait for things to come your way?

I know that when I was younger, I was lookin' all over the place too...just because I didn't know any better. And the more I looked, the more disenchanted I became when I couldn't find what I was looking for. So I decided I'd give it up, focus on other things...and voila. In she came via the back door.

And you're right not to want to take advantage of people. It's a pretty insidious thing to do, and I'd not expect that from such a likeable, mature chap. Glad to hear you know better than that.

For now though, just tone it down a bit, bud. Healthy self-confidence is a good thing, but even the coolest pimps need to take it easy every now and then. Stop searching and start enjoying where you are right here and now, and see where that gets you. Sometimes the life you are after really is hidden in plain sight.

------------------
BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

Beware the naked man who offereth you his pants.


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TheOriginalMexicanPimp!
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Member # 15276

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This username was a bad idea...But now that I have it, I can't change it. Oh well.

That's interesting advice, but I've also heard completely contradictory advice as well. I've been told if you wait around for a girl to just walk into your life, you're disillusioning yourself. You have to go out there and find someone, or else you're going to wind up alone. You sound like you've got personal experience, though. So are you saying I should just chill and enjoy the moment and not worry about meeting someone and hope that somehow I run into them? I suppose that makes sense. Thanks.


Posts: 2 | From: Ohio! >=D | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
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quote:
Originally posted by TheOriginalMexicanPimp!:
So are you saying I should just chill and enjoy the moment and not worry about meeting someone and hope that somehow I run into them?

Precisely, señor . There is a very large gulf between going overboard in your search for the perfect mate, and sitting at home alone all day waiting for your dreamgirl to crawl through the window. It is the center of that gulf that you should shoot for...an area of balance where you're keeping your options open but not spending every waking moment trying to figure out where to find your soulmate.

It may not be easy to find, but that's what I'd be shooting for if I were you.

------------------
BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

Beware the naked man who offereth you his pants.


Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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