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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Confused...

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Author Topic: Confused...
Solumn
Neophyte
Member # 15228

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So. There is this guy I like, right? We've been friends for years, and I've liked him for nearly as long as we've known each other. I think he likes me too, but I can never be too sure with him - he's hard to read, and I never know if he's being serious or not.

So the other day, we were working side by side in class, and joking/flirting/talking. Then he says, quietly, "Maybe we should go out." And I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. I wasn't sure if he was being serious or not, and I didn't want to agree and be screwed over...

Now we're back to the close friend stage again... We talk/joke/laugh, but he seems rather... quiet. No more flirting. I have the horrible feeling I've crushed him.

I'd loveeee some advice, if anyone's got any for me. What should I do? Should I bring it up again? What should I say to him?


Posts: 2 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
Activist
Member # 3072

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quote:
Originally posted by Solumn:
Should I bring it up again? What should I say to him?

Heeeyy, he sounds like me! Gotta be careful with those clowns...sometimes they'll try and sneak in some heartfelt words in between jokes, so just in case they get ridiculed they can pass it off as just another bit of comedy. Goodness knows I've used that routine often enough, it's about as common in high school as pleated cheerleader skirts.

The question for you is how far you want to take it. Do you want to go out with him? Is this the kind of person you always have some sort of romantic tension with, but whom you will never date? Or is this someone you are willing to bet the friendship on?

If you're drooling right now, the answer is probably to bring it up to him again. It need not be complex, something simple like "Remember what you said to me the other day?" would do nicely. Try and pick a private moment if you can...a time when nobody else is there to distract or belittle either of you, a place where you can be honest without feeling self-conscious.

By you bringing it up, it gives you the upper hand in the conversation. If he seems put off by the topic, if he bristles, or if he seems ashamed, you can drop the course of conversation easily and change the subject. If, however, he seems interested in it and responds, the ball is pushed back into your court. And now is your time to come in with your "I think that is a great idea" line. (Dress it up a bit, though!)

In essence, he's already made the first move for you. All you have to do is pick up where he left off and see if he wants to discuss the matter any further. Be as gentle as possible, and don't do it when other people are around, and I'll bet things go fine. I wish you the best of luck, and let us know how it goes!

------------------
BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

Beware the naked man who offereth you his pants.


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Solumn
Neophyte
Member # 15228

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Gah! Boys like you are so annyoing! ;D I brought it up today in the hall... But he didn't remember what I was talking about. I didn't out right -say- that was what I was talking about, but I mentioned that day, and asked him if he was being serious or not.

He didn't remember. Aarrgh. So now I'm back to square one. And its the weekend... Sigh...

Thanks anyway.


Posts: 2 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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