Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » internet- desperate advice!!

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: internet- desperate advice!!
ann89
Neophyte
Member # 15150

Icon 9 posted      Profile for ann89     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm in love.
but it's on the internet... im really careful but i feel like i shoodnt feel this way.
HELP!!!
-ann89

Posts: 6 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ta-da! Check out our article on this very topic:

Getting Real: Relationships on the Internet


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
~Jasons*Baby~
Neophyte
Member # 15168

Icon 4 posted      Profile for ~Jasons*Baby~     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well are you actually sure that you are in love because people can lead you to believe that they are somebody else.You can't really be sure if you are in love. Those are big words and I wouldn't use them unless you mean it.
Posts: 30 | From: Trenton,GA U.S.A | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ann89
Neophyte
Member # 15150

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ann89     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
im sure.
if he's the person i think he is then i definetly luv him.
i kno every1 patronises me becoz of this and says- ur only a little girl, u dunno what love is- but im not a little girl n e more i kno wot i feel and im worried that im doing the wrong thing by him and me.. so could i have some grown up help plz??!!

Posts: 6 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
Activist
Member # 3072

Icon 3 posted      Profile for BruinDan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by ann89:
if he's the person i think he is then i definetly luv him.

Bingo. If he's the person you think you he is. Translation: If he's the person he says he is. That is a huge "if," sweetie.

Have you read the article logic_grrl linked you to? There is a wealth of information there, and there really isn't anything any of us can say that isn't better said in that article. If you haven't done so, please read the article and feel free to post back here with any questions you may have once you've finished.

And please, dear, be careful with your tone. In the same sentence you've managed to both condemn others for patronizing you and adopt a patronizing tone while asking for "grown up help." Things like that may not be the best way to seek assistance from others.

To be sure, a lot of what you will get from those "grown up folk" will seem patronizing to you. Adults, and people with more life experience than you may have, often tend to base their opinions on that very same life experience. For many of them, they have seen people fall into traps either on the Internet or otherwise, and they are taking a hesitant stance towards what you are doing now. So that much is to be expected. Whether you're doing the right thing is going to be up to you, and since you're a minor, your parents. What do they have to say about all this?

------------------
BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

Beware the naked man who offereth you his pants.


Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ann89
Neophyte
Member # 15150

Icon 9 posted      Profile for ann89     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
i apoligise for taking a patronizing tone, sometimes i just get so worried and uptight about this topic i flip out and throw accusations everywhere. sorry.
i kno all the regular stuff, the stuff about 50 year old guys etc. and i am careful. he doesnt kno my address phone number, last name, im not in a phone book on or off the net, he doesnt kno my school and we're a continent apart. we do plan to meet at a large shopping mall next year with several of my friends. and i need to kno if this is caution enough. he also sent me 2 pix of himself and a tape of his house and neibourhood (i made him send the tape to a post office 20 suburbs from my own) be4 i gave him MY pictures.
is it ok 4 me to feel this way about him especially with all this?
i kno its a big "if" as u said but on top of these precautions i am prepared to risk it.

Posts: 6 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
Activist
Member # 3072

Icon 3 posted      Profile for BruinDan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Precautions are a good thing indeed, but you've failed to mention the most important part of all. What do your parents have to say about all of this?

When we're under the age of majority, we are under our parents' domain, whether we like it or not. So I really think this is something that your parents should know about...because if you do something that they're not going to be happy about and you do it without their knowledge, there could be hell to pay when they find out. And with parents, it's always "when" and not "if." Incredible how omnipresent they can be, and incredible how hard it is to hide someone visiting you from a continent away.

------------------
BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

Beware the naked man who offereth you his pants.


Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
is it ok 4 me to feel this way about him especially with all this?

Did you read the article yet?

You'll find that it has a good few things to say about the ways in which internet relationships sometimes do and sometimes don't translate into "real life" chemistry, and why it can be a bad idea to commit yourself to a romantic relationship before you've met someone face to face.

Taking physical safety precautions is vital, but it isn't the whole deal. Taking care of your feelings is important too.


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ann89
Neophyte
Member # 15150

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ann89     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
yes i have read the article.. thank you for your concern.
also- it may intrest u to kno that i dont LIVE with my folks, i moved out last year becoz well- they kicked me out- so watta they think? they dun give a damn.
thanks tho.
-annie

Posts: 6 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nicole19
Neophyte
Member # 15194

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Nicole19     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Read the article thats pretty useful.. But just to give you my two cents; I met the person I am now in love with over the net and she's amazing. But we only chatted as friends at first and it wasnt till about 2 months till we started flirting! So I suggest you take your time

The point i'm trying to make here (besides harping on about my relationship lol) is that you have to make sure of a couple of things before you think of meeting up etc.. what are their intentions? (its best when you just start off as friends and get to know each other) I also suggest you talk on the phone perhaps before you think about meeting up too, just so you can be really sure.

anyway good luck!!


Posts: 6 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nicole19
Neophyte
Member # 15194

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Nicole19     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
OH can i also add that you have to keep this all in perspective: what i mean is that this person is a whole continent away and so the hope of a relationship is probably very low. not impossible but very very low. I know it sucks, but in the long run you'll save yourself alot of pain of stressing over such a long-distance relationship if you dont get too deep NOW. lol that make any sense!??

Anyway, also bear in mind that you cant be certain that this person is your one true love, and I know this will sound useless and patronizing but you could just as well find someone you care for and can have a relationship with who lives close to you rather that a whole continent away..

ok i'll shut up now lol


Posts: 6 | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
i moved out last year becoz well- they kicked me out- so watta they think? they dun give a damn.

I'm really sorry to hear that. In that case, though, it's important to make sure that you've got a friend or an adult you trust to discuss this with, make sure someone knows where you're going if you plan to meet up, etc.

Just having someone who can give you a "reality check" if necessary can make a big difference.


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3