I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and a half, but things just seem to be going....stale. I love him so so much and and I still find him attractive, and nice and stuff and everything I loved about him when I first met him. But I feel...bored. I don't want to split up with him because the thought of not being with him is scary. I feel so secure and stable and loved with him, but that's partly what's wrong...it's like the spark has gone and we are stuck in a boring routine. Sex with him has always been...stressed. I was abused as a child and so I've never been that keen on sex, I mean I like it but I could go without it, but now it's like nearly disappeared from our relationship. I don't want to hurt him but I want things to go back to how they were..but how? He's the nicest guy in the world and I love him to death but when I tried to approach the subject yesterday he didn't want to talk about it (which is how he always is) I'm having a talk with him tonight about it, do you think we should take a break or should I hang in there? If so what should I do to get the spark back? please please help xx
Posts: 2 | From: uk | Registered: Jun 2003
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I find every long relationship hits the 'long stretch of the highway', if you understand what I am saying. Try spicing up your life a bit. Do something different, like go to a zoo one day, buy some lingerie, go for a hike and have a picnic. Little things like that that will change your everyday.
Don't forget to tell your boyfriend what he means to you. I once wrote a letter using the letters of my boyfriend's name. I found one word that describes him with each letter. And talk to your boyfriend tell him that things are as spicy, and ask him what he thinks. If he just blows it off, tell him that it is important to you that you discuss it.
quote:Sex with him has always been...stressed. I was abused as a child and so I've never been that keen on sex
I'd really recommend that you get hold of a copy of "The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How To Create Your Own Expowered Sexuality After Child Sexual Abuse" by Staci Haines.
Being an abuse survivor can definitely affect your sex life, and so your sexual/romantic relationships.
So it's worth getting some help and guidance on this, both in case it's a factor in the current relationship problem (and if sex is always "stressed", it sounds like it could be), and for the sake of your general wellbeing and happiness.
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