Got Questions? Get Answers.: Desperate, lonely, user?

»	Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Desperate, lonely, user?

UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!

Author

Topic: Desperate, lonely, user?

mini_minx
Activist
Member # 11076

posted

Not really sure this is the right place but it seems kinda related to relationships so this seems appropriate.
Ok this might be slightly long but i'll go back to about 5 months ago when this whole 'thing' started.
For about the last year and a half i've been depressed because i thought i was fat and ugly and generally repulsive. But then about 5 months ago i found out that one of my male freinds fancied me. I was really flattered and although i'd never fancied him or anything before my mind told me that i liked himand i should go for it. Well i did and i managed to get really deep into a big mess of relationships, but that's a different thing altogether.
I realised the only reason i went out with him was because i was flattered that anyone would even consider me as a potential girlfriend let alone ask me out. In the mess i got into with him i lost some of my trust of guys and held off any relationships for a while but about a month ago a guy i had met recently started to show interest in me and told me he really liked me. Again i was flattered and it ended up not working because all the attraction was one sided, jsut like before.
Now i feel like i must just be really desperate for a boyfriend or something, and i've had comments, even frmo my best friends that i use people and then just discard them when they're no longer useful. I now get the feeling that maybe they're right and i'm just a desperate loser who uses people and that has got me back into the depressed state i was in before. Now i'm wondering whether i'm not cut out for relationships or if i'm just aiming too high with my expectations because there's no way the guys i like would be interested in me.

Posts: 88 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2002 | IP: Logged |

magpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2340

posted

First of all, you're not a loser. It's human to want companionship and relationships.

You need to be able to tell the difference between when you are just flattered and happy someone likes you and when you are honestly truly interested. If someone likes you and you don't return those feelings, it's not fair to them that you play along.

And about expectaions... from what I've seen, where you "aim" for a person and a relationship really doesn't matter. There are many people who are complete opposites who make it together, also many people of different social classes, different ages, different family backgrouds, etc...

You said something about being "cut out for relationships" You may not be ready to be in a relationship right now. Just because you've had a few failed relationships doesn't make you inable to be in a realationship.

Posts: 286 | From: Ames, IA | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged |

Printer-friendly view of this topic

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2013 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3

	Search Scarleteen