Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » boyfriendless

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: boyfriendless
unlucky
Neophyte
Member # 6825

Icon 1 posted      Profile for unlucky     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Heres my story:
I never had a boyfriend, or guyfriends. Which makes me feel very low of myself. Im pretty, Im very funny, outgoing, nice. And I have a very interseting personality. I have alot to offer. But I cant, because there is nobody to offer what I have, because I have no guyfriends, and I never had a boyfriend. Its been like that for years. I dont know what to do. I tried everything, its still the same. Whats wrong with me? I know this girl who is not funny, doesnt have a interesting personality, etc. and has guy friends and boyfriends, which makes me jealous. Because she gets guys with the way she looks. and I know for sure that I wont get a boyfriend for alot more years. Im 15 now. and 3 more years of high school. Whats wrong with me? Why dont I deserve anything? anyone has the same problem? please visit back.

Posts: 15 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*B*
Activist
Member # 4876

Icon 1 posted      Profile for *B*     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I can understand how you must be feeling at the momement. You're 15 and I bet a lot of your friends and peers have boyfriends and guyfriends. But guess what, you dont need them! Just be yourself and from what you said you seem like you are confident about yourself. I'm sure eventually the right guy will come along and you will wonder what you were worrying about!
If it's bothering you that much however, maybe you could talk to one of your friends and ask for their opinion on the subject. Or if you're really brave go up to a friendly guy that you know and ask for his opinion.
Good luck

------------------
-*B*-


Posts: 110 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Jill     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've gone through something similar. It was pretty frustrating but it did end and sooner than I expected it too. However, all of my efforts to find a partner were unsuccessful until I started thinking of myself the way I wanted them to think of me.

If you can't think of yourself as someone who will have what you want then you won't have it. Reread some of what you wrote:

quote:
Originally posted by unlucky:
I have alot to offer. But I cant, because there is nobody to offer what I have, because I have no guyfriends, and I never had a boyfriend....I know for sure that I wont get a boyfriend for alot more years. Im 15 now. and 3 more years of high school. Whats wrong with me? Why dont I deserve anything? anyone has the same problem? please visit back.

That doesn't sound very positive or affirming to me. Once you start to believe in your potential to find a partner I think you'll be surprised at the results.

------------------
There is a time and a place for everything.


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CallMeBuffChick
Activist
Member # 2101

Icon 1 posted      Profile for CallMeBuffChick     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You know sweetie there is nothing wrong with you at all. One of these days a guy is going to come along a sweap you off your feet and you're going to wonder how you got here without him. I promise you, you'll find him.

But if you're really worried about makeing guy friends have you considered joining an school activitie? Or are you already in one? I never had a guy friend till my first year in highschool. I got involed in drama and made all kinds of new friends, plus drama also tought me to be more outgoing. My suggestion is to join a group that has alot of involment, like drama!

------------------
"I get on my broom and make the bad guys go BOOM!" ~ From the wise words of a thespian on Harry Potter


Posts: 433 | From: Wichita, Ks | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Naquarius2000
Neophyte
Member # 6373

Icon 6 posted      Profile for Naquarius2000     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey there unlucky,

Anyway, about your post, don't fret about not having a boyfriend or anything! I mean what's the point of rushing things? Just take things the way it is and life will just be fine.

And if you do really want to make new friends, you should try joining some clubs, etc, make friends and do your favourite things all at once!

You could also talk to your school counsellor and see what (s)he says!

Take some time and don't rush things! Just take it the way it is!


Posts: 8 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
Activist
Member # 3072

Icon 3 posted      Profile for BruinDan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I see a lot of good advice here. What is important to remember is that you are 15. At age 15, a great many of us had never had a boy or girlfriend, never been kissed, never held hands...these things do not happen overnight, and there is no magical age when they are supposed to start. Things happen at their own pace for everybody, and in your case they just haven't started yet.

But fear not, I was in your shoes at 15 as well. I hadn't ever really had a girlfriend and I was definitely curious about why that was, (and this was WAY before the days of Scarleteen where I could have sought this advice!) I decided after fretting about it for weeks that I'd just let it go and enjoy myself by myself. And lo and behold, as soon as I did that, I met a girl. And because I wasn't looking for a relationship at that point, nothing was rushed and we fell into one another at our own pace, in our own time. We ended up dating for three years.

Things will happen when they will. And although it may be frustrating at times, you will get through it and something will come along when you are least expecting it. So in the meantime, get out there and be active with your friends...and let the chips fall where they may. Good luck!

------------------
"Task Force 46, Light Force 34, Engine and Rescue 66, Battalion 3, Division 2; respond into the Greater Alarm Structure Fire at San Pedro and Jefferson. Reported to be a fire at the First Alert fire extinguisher factory..."

BruinDan's Blog!
ICQ# 3953848


Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
unlucky
Neophyte
Member # 6825

Icon 1 posted      Profile for unlucky     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thank you for your advice; *B*, ookuotoe, CallMeBuffChick, Naquarius2000, BruinDan.

I read that alot of you said that everything will fall into places when the time is right. But the hardest part of that is: I dont believe it and I dont know how to.

And also, Im not that used to guys. Its like when a guy asks me something in class, Im thinking "WHOA he is talking to me? omg, how can that be, I never had guys talking to me! this cant be happening!" and what really sad of that is that, I still cant believe it.
I dont know, its just so confusing.
Also, its real hard for me looking at girls and guys hanging out together. I get jealous and upset.



Posts: 15 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sadelover
Neophyte
Member # 6860

Icon 1 posted      Profile for sadelover     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I am 19 years old and i still have never had a boyfriend or have kissed anyone. This is actually b/c i am too picky, but before i realized i was picky, i used to think that something was wrong with me. It took a long time to find out that nothing was wrong with me at all.

I am in college now and loving it, and the best advice i can give you is to first of all, remember that guys are not as mysterious and "cool" as you think they are. They're just like you--just people. So don't get nervous when they talk to you. Secondly, if you truly believe that you are awesome, then you will project that outwards and people will notice that you are awesome. I just learned this recently and it's amazing--I CHOSE to believe that I was really cool, and people responded to it positively. You have three more long years ahead, and you will change so much in three years, so don't try to rush anything, you have plenty of time to figure out who you are. Just try to enjoy it!


Posts: 8 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
unlucky
Neophyte
Member # 6825

Icon 1 posted      Profile for unlucky     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
thanx sadelover, I hope everything will work out with you, because there are always happy endings if youre not happy then its not the end. <--- I wish I could believe that

I dont think in 3 years will change much, I mean, its been like this forever, whats other 3 years going to do? I have no guy friends, 0 guy friends, and when I say that I mean that, in class guys just dont talk to me


Posts: 15 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Jill     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sweetie, are you talking to them? There is no way for someone to know you are interested in them unless you act like it. Sometimes you just have to take the first step - scary though that may be.

------------------
There is a time and a place for everything.

ICQ# 146582840


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Miss Thang
Activist
Member # 5508

Icon 10 posted      Profile for Miss Thang     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
you need to stop and really do some thinking... maybe get a journal, sometimes when you just start writing, you express feelings that you never knew you had. think about exactly why you need the affirmation of a boy. if you get a boyfriend, will this make you feel better about yourself? will it make you feel like you're more like your friends? will it impress people if you have a boyfriend? i don't mean to criticize at all... believe me, i've been in your shoes many times, and i felt exactly the way you said you did. but my mother gave me the same advice i'm giving you, and although it was hard at first, it really helped me through. i started writing in my journal about how i thought having a boyfriend would change me. i realized my motives: i'm actually looking at my old journal right now... basically i wanted a boyfriend to 1) make my friends jealous 2) get some male attention that i didn't get from my father (my father isn't around much) 3) i was extremely lonely. so i realized that i couldn't force some guy to be my boyfriend, so i'd have to make myself feel good. so i tried to have a better relationship with my father, and also with other males, like my uncles, my grandpa, and my friend's older brother. i also got more involved in my studies and in clubs. and finally, i stopped trying to compete with my girlfriends. this is one of the hardest things to do when you're a 15 year-old girl. girls that age can be so catty and competitive, but a real sign of maturity is rising above that competitiveness and deciding that you're better than that. you don't need to compare yourself to other girls to make yourself feel good. i think you should write down a few things everyday that you're proud of. well, anyways. i really hope this helps. hang in there, baby! being 15 is tough, but you seem pretty level-headed and intelligent, and i think you can get through it. good luck!

Posts: 211 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
unlucky
Neophyte
Member # 6825

Icon 1 posted      Profile for unlucky     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thank you ookuotoe and Miss Thang.

No, I dont talk to guys that are in my class is because: Im very shy around guys, I dont know what to tell them, they never pay ANY attention to me, they talk and laugh with other girls, I get red when I talk to guys. and there are more other reasons

and yeah I kind of keep a journal and I do write things down. And I cant get involved in clubs or whatever after school, or before school, for a lot of reasons. and once I did, its still the same story.

please anyone reply back


Posts: 15 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Zae~Zae
Activist
Member # 2946

Icon 10 posted      Profile for Zae~Zae     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Girl, It's all right! As Micheal Jackson said, You are not alone! I am 17 years old and I don't have a boyfriend. I wondered about that for a minute, but it doesn't bother me. NOTHING is wrong with either of us. The right man just haven't come alongyet.

When it's time for you to have one, the right guy will come to you. I have had a jerk of a boyfriend in my 10th grade year. He was a waste of my time.

I now have a guyfriend who is my insight to the male point of view

Hey maybe we can starta support group called
Happy Independent Single Women!!! We don't need men to make us happy!


Posts: 91 | From: South Carolina, USA | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
unlucky
Neophyte
Member # 6825

Icon 1 posted      Profile for unlucky     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Zae~Zae:
Girl, It's all right! As Micheal Jackson said, You are [b]not alone! I am 17 years old and I don't have a boyfriend. I wondered about that for a minute, but it doesn't bother me. NOTHING is wrong with either of us. The right man just haven't come alongyet.

When it's time for you to have one, the right guy will come to you. I have had a jerk of a boyfriend in my 10th grade year. He was a waste of my time.

I now have a guyfriend who is my insight to the male point of view

Hey maybe we can starta support group called
Happy Independent Single Women!!! We don't need men to make us happy! [/B]



thanx alot for you advice.

but thats the actual point. I want a guy at this age, I want to experience things with guys etc. See atleast you had a guy/boyfriend in grade 10. I dont and I wont have one, trust me about that one.

oh and you like michael jackson too?


Posts: 15 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
$uMMeR
Activist
Member # 2658

Icon 12 posted      Profile for $uMMeR     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Now that's hardly the way to think about yourself! Think +ve, lady, and have some respect for yourself. You don't necessarily need a guy, believe me, sometimes it can feel a lot better when you're single. Having a guy really shouldn't be considered the best thing life's ever done for you.

If you really do want to talk to guys more, maybe you should talk to a friend; ask her if she's noticed any change in personality in you when you're around guys. And take note of everyone else's suggestions

Take a deep breath, and remember, not everything has to happen when you're 15. You have a lifetime ahead of you: it doesn't have to happen now.

But above all, keep your chin up and just love yourself coz it's probably the best thing you can do for yourself!

------------------
*Read my diary

*Read my page

*And...alwayz :)


Posts: 194 | From: city of Anghelz | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Zae~Zae
Activist
Member # 2946

Icon 10 posted      Profile for Zae~Zae     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Girl, when the time is right, a GOOD man will come to you. I have to wait until grade 12 to find a terrific guy, but he is just a friend. I think that the friend status will change eventually due to past events.

Don't you worry. Go out with some girlfriends to a club or skating rink or festival or something and mingle. Your dream guy could be anywhere. Just try to get out of your shyness a tiny bit. I did eventually.

Good Luck!


Posts: 91 | From: South Carolina, USA | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Janeth
Activist
Member # 3478

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Janeth     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
there is nothing wrong with you. Your only 15 and you have soo much time to get a boyfriend. Don't go out with some, just becuase you want a boyfriend, it won't be fair for him. Just be yourself and you will find someone, in the mean time just hang out with friends and maybe join clubs, you night find some guy friends there.
Posts: 51 | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
unlucky
Neophyte
Member # 6825

Icon 8 posted      Profile for unlucky     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
thanx everyone

but its not that I want to go out with guys just because "I want a boyfriend", I want some REAL experience!!!!! I GET SO JEALOUS, imagine having NO guyfriend, NONE! My youngest sister even has one, and she is 14! She has blond hair, and whatever, and lots of guysfriends and has a nice caring boyfriend.

Im just real pissed right. now. anyways, Im always pissed and stressed out about everything!


Posts: 15 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ErinK
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ErinK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What about your life will be better or significantly changed by having guy friends?
How will this make your life happier, better, nicer, more fun? I'm just curious, since you seem to be saying that it's something that's very important to you, but why do you think that this will improve your life so much?

Posts: 3077 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Moonlight
Activist
Member # 384

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lady Moonlight     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by unlucky:
My youngest sister even has one, and she is 14! She has blond hair, and whatever, and lots of guysfriends and has a nice caring boyfriend.

I would't worry too much about this in the long run. My sister is 6 years younger than me, and by the time she was 14 and I was 20 she'd already had lots more boyfriends than I had. While it bugged me once upon a time, I've come to realize that we're different people with different life experiences and how many boyfriends one has (or even having one at all) is no measure of somebody's worth. My sister and I love each other dearly and are great friends; we each admire each other's accomplishments in life but neither of us wants to BE the other person.

quote:
Im just real pissed right. now. anyways, Im always pissed and stressed out about everything![/B]

Yeah, it seems like from this and your other posts/threads that you're going through a rough patch right now. The thing is, do you really want to do something about it, besides just feel bad? For most of us, our lives don't improve unless we actually do something about it. Just sitting around and feeling bad doesn't hack it. It takes time and, most of all, effort to make things better. Folks have offered some good suggestions, but we can't change your life and your attitude for you. Only you can do that.


Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bunny1201
Neophyte
Member # 7001

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Bunny1201     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I was like that for a while...but don't wory about it at this time in your life. Go ahead and crush on numerous boys...you have nothing to lose My current b/f was totally unexpected so just be yourself and if none of the boys find themselves drawn to you, then they don't deserve you

Hope I Helped
~*Liz*~


Posts: 2 | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sun Wu
Activist
Member # 7018

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sun Wu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If you blush when a guy talks to you, you need to find a way around overcoming that. Seriously, guys have a tendancy to notice girls who are energetic, talkative, humurous and like to laugh. (At least with my circle of guy friends) If you're not going to approach guys, you have to make yourself approachable.

Being shy around guys then complaining that they don't notice you boggles my mind. Can't you make the connection? Being shy doesn't get you anywhere. Obviously, overcoming shyness isn't easy, I used to be shy when I was younger. I suspect that something is holding you back around guys, you did say you're outgoing... So what IS stopping you from being outgoing with guys?


Posts: 117 | From: Where does my name remind you of? well it's wrong! | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3