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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » What to do?

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Author Topic: What to do?
Crusader22
Neophyte
Member # 6406

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I'm seventeen and have liked the same girl since ninth grade. During the first year that I knew her, she went out with three senior "sexy captain of the football team" types. However, when she wouldn't give them what they wanted, all three cheated on her. She now has difficulty trusting anyone.

We got to know each other better and I soon fell madly in love with her. Today, we're inseperable friends and talk for hours each day. I have repeatedly asked her out, but she has refused, saying that we're "too good friends" and that she's mortally afraid of destroying our friendship, if it ever failed. I try to accept this and be with other girls, but they simply can't compare. I tell her that I love her and I'm positive that she loves me too, but she continues to go ahead and date other guys while I'm stuck as just being a friend. No matter what I do, nothing helps me change that "friend" image.

As college approaches (we'll almost surely be going to different schools), I'm terrified that I'll never get the chance to really be with her. It's not that I want sex or anything (we're both Catholic's who firmly believe in marriage-first...it bothers us both the same way when we hear about our peers having sex without a second thought), but I just don't want to have my youth pass me by, especially while she feels no guilt being with others. I'm willing to wait for her forever if that's what it takes, but maybe no amount of waiting will ever solve my problem. What do you think? Should I trust the love that I feel and blindly keep believing, or accept that things will never change and try to move on?


Posts: 1 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Aaliyah
Neophyte
Member # 6408

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Hi! hey, i can relate. i was vvvv close to a lad since i was like 9 and we were v close. it was the typical "dawson, Joey" relationship goin on. personally i think u should keep it as it is and keep what u do have. but then again, u have people who are like "you only regret what what you dont do", but im not one of them. If you love this girl as much i think you do, you will respect that opinion of hers. stay close friends, but dont ruien what you have got 4 summat that may not ever happen...
xx

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* The hardest thing to do in this world is live in it *


Posts: 8 | From: Notts | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lux
Neophyte
Member # 6338

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wow... i think you should print out what you've posted there and give it to her... but if that's not something you feel you can do i think you really just need to talk to her.. a real serious talk and let her know exactly what's going on with your feelings towards her and then maybe she'll understand what it is that you would like and she might want the same thing. and if she's worried about it ruining a friendship you may not be the greatest friends you think you are. because if you were you wouldn't let something like a failed romance ruin something so great.
Posts: 9 | From: canada | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
star1120
Activist
Member # 1624

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*looks around* wow, i haven't been here in a while!

anyways...

i can kind of, almost, maybe not, relate.

well, if some of you remember and you probably don't, there was my good friend ryan that i really liked and we sometimes went out and we went to each others proms and such. well, in october i told him everything that i thought and felt. he told me that i was too good of a friend to risk losing. i didn't love him like you say you love your friend and vise versa, but i felt pretty strongly for him.

well, after being honest with eachother, and talking about it, and some time, i'm basically over him and i see him as a good friend, like i always did, but i don't think about all that "other" stuff.

so.. where am i going with this?

i have no idea.

maybe it's something along the lines of agreeing with whoever said to print out your post and give it to her. i basically put everything i worried about and thought about and felt into one email, one long email. and he told me exactly how he felt. and i guess that' sjust what you've got to do, be straight with eachother.

and i'm really bad at advice so i'll stop now!
good luck.

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" Life move pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller


Posts: 183 | From: ohio, usa | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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