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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » boyfriends

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Author Topic: boyfriends
ASH/ZACH
Neophyte
Member # 5892

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I don't know what to do I have had this boyfriend for about 8 or 9 months now and I care about him but I don't know why. All he does is make me mad. I can't talk to any other guy even if he's been my friend for long then I've even dating my boyfriend. This really makes me mad. I also work with this guy and I think that I'm really starting to like him and I don't know how to tell my boyfriend that I want to break up with him. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posts: 4 | From: topeka, KS, USA | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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Lemme guess ... His name is Zach? Just so ya know, you're able to get your own accounts and it's actually recommended that way. So we can know who's who and not get posts confused. Soooo, in the future, can you please hold one account per person? Thx

Is it possible that this relationship could be a good one for you b/c it's comfortable? Leaving a relationship that you've been in for that many months is kinda scary, i know, but if you're not happy w/ him, it needs to be done. And it's not fair to him either if you're not happy and you haven't told him.

I can't tell you exactly how you'd go about dumping someone ... Just tell him that you're no longer happy w/ him and you'd be happier alone or w/ someone else. There's no real way of making it sound nice ... Let him cool off and maybe you can be friends in a few months. Maybe not. I wouldn't suggest trying to be his friend right away tho ... A lot of people can't handle that.


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
la jaunty bohemian
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Member # 5735

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Take a deep breath... it's all going to work out.

Relationships are pretty tricky. Sometimes if you've been with someone for a long time, it's hard to bring up and resolve problems, especially when the problem is that you don't want to be with them anymore.

Take a couple of days or so and really think about why you liked this guy in the first place. Make a list. Then list all the things that really make you mad. Try to figure out what the real problems are. For instance, if he doesn't want you to talk to other people, why is that? Do you feel that he's overly jealous? Or that he doesn't respect your space?

Or maybe even that you just don't want to be with him anymore. All of those reasons are okay. You have to decide what's best for you right now.

And if you want to break up with the guy you're dating, that's okay too. You might want to let him down gently, and explain your reasons for ending the relationship without criticizing him. Maybe it's just that you need to not be attached to anyone right now.

Think about what you're really looking for right now.

Good luck!


Posts: 105 | From: Baltimore, MD, USA | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SlowCookie
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Member # 589

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Have you told your boyfriend about how all he does is make you mad? If not, then that's a good place to begin. It may be obvious to you, but he might not realize that he's upsetting you in such a manner.

If you want to break up with your boyfriend, then you just have to tell him. There's really no other way around it. However, I think you guys should try to have a talk first, and sort out your feelings, even if the purpose of it wasn't to "patch up" your relationship. Tell him what's going on and how you feel about the whole situation.


Posts: 681 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Miss Thang
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Member # 5508

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wait... lemme get this straight- your boyfriend won't let you talk to your best guy friend? i was a little confused... is that what you were sayin? if so, then this guy is bad news. but maybe that wasn't what you were sayin... could you clear that up for us maybe?

first off.. i love my boyfriend, but we fight a lot too, and we get on each other's nerves once in a while.. it's perfectly normal. communication is really important. you should let him know when he does something that hurts or bothers you. maybe he doesn't realize that he's doing it, and he might just stop once you tell him. and if you like this guy at work, i wouldn't freak out about it. i still get little crushes too, even with a boyfriend. i just realize that they're simply that: crushes... and they're nice to LOOK at and not touch.

but if you still feel like you need to break it off with your boyfriend, then do it. but at least let him know exactly how you feel. don't say, "well, i really care about you.. but..." be honest. tell him "you really hurt me when you (fill in the blank)". or "it bothers me when you (fill in the blank)". he has a right to know, considering you were together for 8 months. that's a really long time. best of luck to you.


Posts: 211 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ASH/ZACH
Neophyte
Member # 5892

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Well yes it is my best friend that I'm not supost to talk to and that upset me bad. I have talked about it to him and all he says is that we aren't really friend he knows there is more to it. Which means he thinks that we are having sex. So that's why I hate having to talk to him about things like that he always makes me out to be the bad person. I also have a 14 months old son and the father and I aren't together any more so when I talk to my son's dad he gets mad and say that we are having sex again and he knows it. (And Zach is my sons name not my boyfriend sorry if that confused you) So what do I do when I try to talk to him and he doesn't listen to me.
Posts: 4 | From: topeka, KS, USA | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Miss Thang
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hunny, if he's not listening to you, then forget him! it's bad enough that he's so controlling that he won't let you speak to your best friend. it isn't anybody's place to tell you who you can or can't speak to. he sounds like a very jealous and controlling guy, and i'm sure you don't need a person like that. i honestly would break it off with him, and if you think that he's not going to listen, then don't bother saying much. keep it short and sweet if he's not even gonna listen. you deserve much better, hun. k? good luck.
Posts: 211 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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