Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » boyfriend and his job

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: boyfriend and his job
cupcake
Activist
Member # 4356

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cupcake     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i'm having serious issues with my boyfriend and his job.
First of all, I understand that a job is part of reality.
Secondly, one of the issues I have is that one of the major reasons he says he got teh job is because of me, cause he wants to buy me stuff.
But we've discussed it again and again, I don't want STUFF from him. I'm really not big on this getting tons of presents and stuff. He says he likes too, but I still hate it.

But the major thing is this:
He'll work from right after school until 11 at night, and then take an hour and half- 2 hours to get home some nights. And he'll do this 6 days a week. That leaves one day/night a week thatw e can get together, and he's too tired to even get together, cause he gets up at 6 and doesn't even get home til past midnight.

I feel like I'm going to go crazy. I can't stay up that late every nigth to maybe talk to him for 10 minutes before he collapses,a nd I've tried talking to him about it but he doesn't seem to want to change it. what on earth do I do about it?!?!?


Posts: 433 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kasper
Activist
Member # 5439

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Kasper     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey!

My boyfriend is starting a new job this wk, and his hours are from 4 till midnight. He has to basicly go to work right after he gets outta school. I go to a school in a different state, so chances are I wont be able to talk to him everything anymore (and weve talked EVERY night for 4 months). Of course well use email. I get emails from him everyday at school. So maybe you can use email too. My bf will only be working 4 days a wk, so hopefully hell get the days off that Im home. If not Im sure will work something out. Communicate with him. Tell him how you feel. What about wkends? Can you get together before he goes to work? or after since you dont haveto wake up early the next day. Play around with the possibilities. Good luck!


Posts: 213 | From: *Somewhere over the rainbow* | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bobolink
Activist
Member # 1386

Icon 4 posted      Profile for Bobolink         Edit/Delete Post 
One thing that concerns me about the two posts above is that the boys are effectively working a 14-15 hour day when you factor in time at school. When is homework being done? Are they jeopardising their chances of graduating and post seconday education?

------------------
We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

- Albert Einstein


Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
Activist
Member # 3072

Icon 1 posted      Profile for BruinDan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Uncle Bobo is right...while it is not uncommon these days for teenagers to work 15-16 hour days when school is factored in (even I did that for the latter three years of my high school career), the fact that your boyfriends are working until midnight seems both unhealthy and abnormal. Almost every state in the US (and several provinces in Canada as well) ave labor laws that prohibit minors from working beyond 10pm on school nights. Some states (such as Colorado and Nebraska) are more restrictive and prohibit minors from working past 10pm on non-school nights as well. I think you need to check with your boyfriends and find out what sort of work they are doing, if they are minors.

As for the lack of time spent, that will need ot be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. Is work an economic necessity for these fellows? Are they saving money for college or a car or something large of that nature? I know that I was particularly bad with time when I was in high school because I was saving up for college that I knew would drain every penny I had for the forseeable future. But because I communicated this necessity with my girlfriend at the time, we were able to avoid significant problems early on. We saw one another at school and then on the weekends also...and sometimes she would come visit me at work as well. Little things like that may be something you could talk to your boyfriends about, and see where it goes from there. Best o' luck!

------------------
"Task Force 46, Light Force 34, Engine and Rescue 66, Battalion 3, Division 2; respond into the Greater Alarm Structure Fire at San Pedro and Jefferson. Reported to be a fire at the First Alert fire extinguisher factory..."

BruinDan's Blog!
ICQ# 3953848


Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kasper
Activist
Member # 5439

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Kasper     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My boyfriend is in his first yr of college now. He is gonna be working till midnight, and prob wont get home and go to bed till 12 30ish. He has to be up at 6 every wk day for classes! He is gonna get drained. Imnot gonna say anything. Im gonna let him find out for himself. Do you think relationships can survive this?
Posts: 213 | From: *Somewhere over the rainbow* | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cypher
Activist
Member # 1881

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cypher     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Last year my boyfriend and I both took a year off after graduation before going to university. During this time we both worked (at one point he was working two jobs). A lot of the time our schedules conflicted and sometimes it bothered both of us, but after a while you really learn to work around it. It's one of those hurdles life throws at you so you either need to pass it or else give up. I know that must sound bleak, but it's not as bad as it may seem.

------------------
Smile, though your heart is breaking....

My crazy little universe....

"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there....
With open arms and open eyes...."

-Incubus


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cupcake
Activist
Member # 4356

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cupcake     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
see he's over the age of 16, which to my knowledge, means he can work anytime.
but anyways, according ot his schedule, it says 10, but then he always gets stuck closing and stuff. and tehn with an unpaid travel time of an hour and a half, thsi is getting crazy.
actually, because of the hallowe'en rush ( he works at a party store) he has it figured out: he's working 25 hours next week, in addition to school.
i'm guessing he doesn't do homework.
the problem is mostly that he's wiped, even too wiped for me to come over there and just watch movies. we tried that a few times and he fell dead asleep for 4 hours.
normally we do talk every day, except for major circumstances, cause he lives so far away. we try email, but he doesn't have net access except when he's at home, ie: 12 30 to 6 in the morning, and he isn't quite awake enough to check it.
lately i've taken to calling him on my way to school with the cell, to his cell, just so i can hear his voice.
and i meant to put this is the first post, but it's not a life and death situation here.
he's not saving for college, his rents have it covered, even they've told me that. and tehya ren't even near starving. he's pretty well off, and his renst give him money.
he just says he wants to be able to buy stuff and such, but don't ask me when he's gonna get a chance to do that!

i think that if this is gonna work out, something has to change. it can't be healthy for him AT ALL.


Posts: 433 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kasper
Activist
Member # 5439

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Kasper     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I agree its not healthy. My boyfriend will be working 32 hrs a wk!!! Plue full time school. Its nuts, hes gonna end up getting sick, but he dont wanna hear it. He knows all!
Posts: 213 | From: *Somewhere over the rainbow* | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sapphirecat
Activist
Member # 5317

Icon 1 posted      Profile for sapphirecat     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
To my knowledge, over 20 hours a week is full time, and you get cool benefits. But DON'T trust me, ask a lawyer.

------------------
-- Sapphire Cat

Condense soup, not books!

I don't use the term "straight". It implies its opposite is "crooked".


Posts: 235 | From: Louisville KY (St. Matthews) | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cupcake
Activist
Member # 4356

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cupcake     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
that doesn't sound like much....
i mean, i guess i'm lucky this week, he's only working 18 hours.
depending on how they divvy taht up, that could only amount to 3 days, not even full.

anyways, i've given up. i keep trying really really hard and stuff, trying to keep he shards of relationship together over here, and he agrees stuff needs to be fixed, but everytime we try to get togetehr and figure stuff out, he has to work. i give up.
i told him yesterday to figure his schedule out, figure out his priorities, and THEN call me.


Posts: 433 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
emsily0
Activist
Member # 2059

Icon 1 posted      Profile for emsily0     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
to my knowledge, 16 is still a minor.
in massachusetts, the laws about overtime, how many hours a week, etc. hold until you are 18. i'm pretty sure that's standard.

em

------------------
Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk - real straight talk about souls - for life is holy and every moment is precious. I heard the Denver and Rio Grande locamotive howling off in the mountains. I wanted to pursue my star further. -Kerouac


Posts: 786 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cupcake
Activist
Member # 4356

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cupcake     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i dunno... i don't think tehy're doing anything illgal.
all i know is that ehre, there are different rules for if you're under 16, and then over 16. like wages and hours and such.
i've never heard of anything between under 18 and 18 and over.

Posts: 433 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sapphirecat
Activist
Member # 5317

Icon 1 posted      Profile for sapphirecat     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by cupcake:
i've never heard of anything between under 18 and 18 and over.

Well, now you have Here in NY, you need working papers, your parent/guardian's permission, and a physical within the last year to be able to work as a minor (under 18).

------------------
Sapphire Cat
You can love me or hate me, but it won't change who I am.


Posts: 235 | From: Louisville KY (St. Matthews) | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3