posted
i work with this guy, hes not everybody's idea of the perfect guy, with the chiseled body and such, but to me you couldnt find a sexier guy. and i dont mean just appearance. we're friends and he flirts with me alot, no biggie he flirts with a lot of pple. everytime i look in his eyes i want to melt. glass blue eyes and sleek black spikey hair. mmmmmmm! he does everything in his mortal power to make me smile. i got mad at school and hit a wall until my knuckles were black and went to work that night. he was there and he kissed my knuckles. he has this erotic sensuality about him that drives me wild and i just cant help it. i got tired of hiding it and told him upfront that i liked him. ok that i had a huge crush on him... u happy? :P. lol anyway. he and his gf broke up because she beat the crap out of him and he wouldnt fight back and she is obsessed with him. they are still seeing eachoter but not bf and gf cuz he thinks if he stopped seeing her she would kill herself and she is that type.anyway he asked me why i told him and i told him i felt safe telling the truth becuz he is with roxanne and i know hed never want to be with me. i wish he would though. i never seen a guy like this. he interesting and sweet and he would never put anyone down. he told me i had a great body and that i was beautiful (yes i was complainging about my weight)and that i could have anyone i wanted. but i want him. sooooooooooooo bad. is this normal or obsessive? do oyu think there is a way i could get him to go out with me? or do you think im screwed? advice? please? Posts: 48 | From: Independence, Missouri, USA | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well, you can't really make anyone do anything. Its clearly a complicated situation already, what with the obsessive ex or not-so-ex girlfrirnd. The best you can do for now is stay friends with the guy and hope it works out. You don't sound obsessive at all, by the way. You sound like you have a crush.
I feel your pain, though. The guy you're describing sounds just like my type. This summer I met the best guy...we had everything in common, he was gorgeous, had that "punk" style I love so much. But, well, he was very shy (another turn-on)...things just never worked out and I'm in all likelihood never going to see him again. I still think about him...it sucks *** . At least you can stay friends with this guy, so just keep your eye on him and hope that he resolves the situation with his ex somehow.
------------------ ...an angel who didn't so much fall as saunter vaguely downwards...
"Ni! Ni! Niii!" -Monty Python & the Holy Grail
"Dream dangerous, and thanks for the poem!" - what Neil Gaiman signed in my copy of "American Gods". I gave him a poem I wrote.
"Christina Aguilera tried to make out with me! But I shut her down!" -Joel from Good Charlotte. Its a loooong story. ;)
posted
it's entirely normal and obsessive is good (to a certain extent), sometimes friends make brilliant partners, but sometimes it ruins the friendship, take it slowly, his girlfriend (ex) sounds totally crazy but hey! who i am to judge? just don't do the whole clamming up thing that people do when they fancy someone coz it doesn't work (i know silly me). be a flirt, it workd every time, and see what happens, but don't lose him as a friend, he sounds like an absolute sweetie!
------------------ One owes respect to the living. To the dead one owes only truth ~ the Crow
Posts: 48 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I feel for you. I have had those crushes. I still have those crushes. They suck. But he sounds like a total sweetie and I would want him as a friend the most.
Posts: 252 | From: somwhere, usa | Registered: Sep 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
man, i hate roxanne! shes the only one keeping us apart. my brothers girlfriend works with us and she took richard (my crush) aside and asked him why he wouldnt give me a chance. he said that things between him and roxanne were going so well that he didnt want to screw it up. but he would love to holler at me. so now i know that he likes me but cant do anything bout it. why me ????
Posts: 48 | From: Independence, Missouri, USA | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
Sorry, but I just have to insert a reality check here.
I can't see how Roxanne is the only one keeping you and this guy apart. He is CHOOSING to still be with her. Sure, she may be manipulative, but he is choosing to allow himself to be manipulated (not to mention abused...sticking with somebody who beats you is NOT healthy!)
In short, it seems reasonable to dislike Roxanne if she's really the sort of person you describe. However, dumping all the blame on her for the fact that you and your crush are not already dating is unreasonable and unfair.
As somebody who was once in an emotionally abusive relationship (and who has been witness to a few others), my advice is to be supportive of your friend, while recognizing (and helping him recognize) that he alone is capable of making the decision to break free.
posted
well, see its not really like that. see he likes me and wants to holler at me, but he thinks that it would be really bad if he screwed up with roxanne while they are getting along so well. i guess deep down he still loves her but hasnt realized or admitted it to himself yet. shes on medicine so she isnt as violent or angry all the time. i like him so much, but i like him enough to not want to break up a good thing. well something happened today. a guy i went to school with last year (he graduated) admitted he has a crush on me. its weird. i never really gave much thought of him and me but i do like him a little and kinda want to get to know him. i mean richard is happy riht now and i dont wanna ruin that. do you think it would be a good idea, maybe get my mind off of richard and possibly start a new thing with someone. what do you think?
Posts: 48 | From: Independence, Missouri, USA | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged |
Really now, the ordeal with your co-worker could just blossom into a Class A mess. And I really don't think you need any more drama in your life, do you? So why not test the waters elsewhere a bit and see what happens. No sense spurning someone who has admitted liking you in pursuit of someone who is still stuck on an evil ex.
I would say that at this point, the best thing you could do would be to explore your options. I know that in my personal experience, when I have been stuck on somebody that maybe I shouldn't have been stuck on...someone else has come out of nowhere and completely blown me away. So who knows, perhaps it will work the same way for you. Good luck and keep us posted!
------------------ "Verdugo, Engine 14; you can cancel all units responding to this structure fire...this is just a dishwasher gone bad."
posted
Wooh, do I know how you feel. Since you haven't gotten "involved" with him yet, technically, I suggest you avoid it. Only because if you already like him it will just make you like him more if you do anything with him while he still has a ?sort of? g/f. I know you didn't ask that, but I'm telling you for future reference. I mean, if he told you you're beautiful and was all kissing your knuckles I think that's kinda sending out some vibes. If he makes it official that his g/f and him are over, then.. bring it up again (that you like him)
------------------ "I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal" ~Incubus
posted
This new guy sounds like a great opportunity to take your mind off Richard for a bit. Who knows, it could work out really well.
Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000
| IP: Logged |
SolitaryTear
unregistered
posted
i agree... go for it girl... what've ya gotta lose? if u wanna wait for richard.. then go out with the crush on a few dates... as a friend and see if anything is going bad with roxanne and richard... if there is... then dont give in to a full relationship with the crush unless you start liking him with the same affect
posted
I wonder what the responses to this would be if the genders were reversed, a guy sees a girl he works with beat up by her boyfriend, but she is afraid to leave him because she is afraid that he might kill himself? Might the response be a bit more along the lines of encourage her to report her boyfriend to the police because he is dangerous, and a bit more fear over the girl's saftey? Rather than just forget about her and go find another girlfriend?
Posts: 475 | From: ohio | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
hey, well i asked him out on a date for saturday night but he said he had to work......... grrrrrr why is this so hard. plus my friend csey asked him if he wanted a gf and he said he didnt know. is some guys read this, would you tell me what that means when a guy says it. plus new problem i havent thought of.... hes 19 im 16, is that bad??i really wanna spend time together but he is forever working. grrrrrrrrrr
Posts: 48 | From: Independence, Missouri, USA | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by unluckyNlove: plus my friend csey asked him if he wanted a gf and he said he didnt know. is some guys read this, would you tell me what that means when a guy says it.
Well, it isn't like men come from a different planet (despite the oh-so-famous book with a name I don't think I need to mention) or anything. If he said he didn't know if he wanted a girlfriend, that means he doesn't know. Plain and simple. Perhaps he is waiting to see if the "right person" comes along, perhaps he wants to date many people for a while, perhaps he doesn't want to date anyone at all. The only way to know for sure would be to ask him, why not give it a shot?
------------------ "Verdugo, Engine 14; you can cancel all units responding to this structure fire...this is just a dishwasher gone bad."
Copyright 1998, 2013 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
why me ????
Printer-friendly view of this topic