posted
Hey there! I am hoping to stay a virgin until I am in a very serious, meaningful, long-term relationship. I was just wondering when everyone thinks is the right time to tell a guy my feelings about sex in a new relationship. In my two past relationships I told the guys from the outset (when the topic came up of course). I wonder though if by telling them so soon into the relationship that they kind of used it against me a bit. Any thoughts on this please...
Posts: 6 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
If any guy uses the fact that you dont want to have sex right away against you then he doesnt deserve you. You have done well by saying what your feelings are right at the beginning when the topic came up. The best time to talk about your feelings about sex is when the topic firsts arrives. Hey, you never know, maybe you might find that guy that feels exactly the same way as you do!
Posts: 523 | From: Ashland, Oregon, US | Registered: Jun 2000
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posted
Not knowing too much about your relationship, i'll tell you what i've learned about mine. If guys know that you have done sexual activity before, they are PROBABLY, not always, going to use it against you, either in your relationship, in the locker room, or after you break- up. I think that you know when you're ready to have sex, and you should tell them if you are ready, but let them bring it up. LIke you said, they're brung it up early in the relationship, just tell them that you'll talk about it at a later time, or just say something, not about that. That gives it away. But honestly, i think its up to you, and for you to decide, i'm just telling you what I think!
------------------ One Crazy and Irregular Chica ~. All i ever wanted was love, all i ever need is love, but all i've gotten are broken hearts~
posted
Lets not generalize guys like that paleez. Some guys will use something like that against you, but not all, and probably not even most of them. And i disagree that you should let him always bring it up, especially when you reach the point that you actually want to become more intimate. But I dont think you should get in a brand spanking new relationship and bring it up after 10 minutes into it. .
Posts: 523 | From: Ashland, Oregon, US | Registered: Jun 2000
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SolitaryTear
unregistered
posted
You must be upfront with them, if they don't accept your choice, then (pardon my tone) screw him, he isn't worth your time! The guy that will respect that decision and only make a move when you let him know that it's right is the guy that you probably will be with "long-term".
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