my best friend is great. shes so fun when we do stuff, which is not alot. we go out to movies alot, like a few times a month, and im always hoping shell ask me to stay the night or something, since i have her over so much. ill call her one day and shes always busy, even with her (and our) other friends. she tells me shell call back, and she sometimes does, but not always. im always so anxious to ask her to stay the night one friday or whatever, because i love being with her (in a non lesiban way!). but i dont ask her to anymore because she never has me over. you know in a friendship, (SOMETIMES) youre the caller, inviter, whatever, and shes the reciever, hardly ever calls, whatever? well thats how it is with us, and im the caller.. shes really fun, and i love when we stay the night at each others houses, but she never has me over, and this makes me mad. she has one of our friends (who is annoying, most everyone agrees) over quite alot, and me never, and she acts like and says im a better friend! ive been friends with her for about 3 years now. what can i do? should i tell her that i feel kind of like a 3rd wheel? please help! --katherine, 14
Posts: 31 | Registered: Mar 2001
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I had a friend like this and I was the best friend when it worked out for her. So I did tell her how I felt and we aren't friends any more. She wasn't a good friend and I felt like I was being used. It really is up to you on whether you say something or not just what happened to me could happen to you.
Posts: 87 | From: nebraska, usa | Registered: Jun 2001
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Well, ya know, all relationships go through phases. I know that lately I haven't paid as much attention to my best friend as I should, and I feel bad about that. But life changes, and sometimes you come to times where you're closer to some people and farther away from others. Maybe your friend is just going through one of those times.
Your best bet is going to be to sit down with her and have a long heart to heart talk. Don't accuse her of anything, just explain to her how her actions have been making you feel lately. Communciation is the key in any relationship.
I don't think it's a phase only cuz you say she's NEVER had you stay over. Maybe she hasn't even thought about it since you're always the one to offer. One day you could say, hey, if ya wanna stay over tonight that would be cool, or maybe we could stay at your house? and see how she reacts. if it seems like she's uncomfy with the idea of staying at her house then discuss it with her. tell her that you're just curious if she is intentionally avoiding you stay at her house.
------------------ "I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal" ~Incubus
When I was around 14 me and my best friend for 9 years began to have other friends and we eventually went our separate ways. I think she's just wanting to be friends with more than just you, which is completely normal for someone your age. I think if you were to ask her if you could stay the night with her, she'd probably say yeah. Try that, see if t works.
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