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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Should I wait for awhile...?

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Author Topic: Should I wait for awhile...?
towel42
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Alright. This is a simple enough question. I'm lonely as hell and I'll be entering my Junior year of high school come September. Now, I really would like a relationship with someone, should someone come along that I would consider getting into an actual relationship with. I've never had a boyfriend before, and I really do want one, for various reasons I won't go into right now.

Thing is, my Junior year, I already know, is going to be very demanding. I'm taking some AP courses, and my math credit for the year is gonna be difficult to get through (I'm not a math person). I'm also focusing on staying in shape and getting better at guitar. So, should I even bother getting into a relationship? Or is now just simply not the right time? Although I do want a boyfriend, I keep thinking that I'll already have so many responsibilties, that I won't have time to be a good partner to someone.

Does anyone have any thoughts they'd like to share? Anything would be appreciated.

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ErinK
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Well, I think you said it best that if someone should come along that you want a relationship with, you'd have one. I think that's a really sensible and smart attitude to take.

That being said, I think you should have a good time, do the things you're setting out to do, and if someone comes along that's right for you, by all means pursue it. But if no one comes along that you're interested in, don't get into a relationship for the sake of getting into a relationship -- which you already said you weren't interested in, so there we are.

Make sense?

Erin


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lilnerd
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Same here. Exact situation (also gonna be a *junior*) Thing is you can also think of this situation as a blessing in disguise. You can focus on school, doing well, keeping fit, and enjoying your hobbies and keep your mind off of "finding someone" to start a relationship with. A lot of times, when people are too actively pursuing a relationship they get frustrated and sad about not finding instant gratification. So, you can be busy doing the things that are most IMPORTANT and allow the things that you'd LIKE to happen when they're meant to.
And don't worry too much about being open enough for your future relationships... ANY relationship takes patience, and that's something that can be worked out, I'm sure ;-)

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donutduchess
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Honestly, I think only you know if you REALLY want a relationship. If the right person comes along then youll know what to do! Good luck!!!
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*B*
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Wanting a boyfriend just for the sake of having one is not the way to go. Whether you are entering your junior, senior or anything year, you should wait till someone comes along that you like and who feels the same way about you (which is essentially what you are saying i guess). Just a warning that getting into a relationship with someone for no other reason than to "have a boyfriend" will not only lead nowhere for yourself but could hurt someone in the process. It's best to spend your time with friends and on your education and things that you enjoy than wasting it on a guy who you dont really care or want to be with.

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BruinDan
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Something I have noticed several times over in my own life, is that no matter how busy your schedule is, when the right person comes along for you to have a relationship with...time appears out of thin air for that person.

I began dating a girl during the beginning of my sophomore year, right about the time I also got my first job, was engaged in SAT classes, and was spending lots of time preparing for a trip to Japan. But I noticed that I still had time to spend with my girlfriend. Basically, the times that I would otherwise just be sitting at home watching television or playing basketball in my backyard, I would instead spend with my girlfriend.

This happened several times over, with both of my former girlfriends...at one time I was spending 15 hours a day, 6 days a week in a Police Academy, and studying for their exams every nght. Yet somehow there was always that little bit of extra time in the day to spend with my girlfriend.

A common notion is that spending time with a boy or girlfriend can cause problems, such as lowering grades or whatnot...yet for me it has had the opposite effect. I have seen my grades rise quite a bit after spending time with a significant other, and several of my friends have noted the same result. So I'm not sure where that assumption comes from, it seems to me that having a partner who cares about you can really spur you to work hard to better yourself.

I am reminded of the phrase "Where there's a will, there's a way." When the right person comes along, things just tend to work out automatically. So good luck to you!

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