posted
(*This is not about me... it's a generalization*) If you're in a monogamous relationship and cheat on your partner several times without regrets what do you think this tells you about the relationship? Do you think it's possible to really love and want to be in a relationship with someone if you choose to make a commitment, yet fail to keep it?
------------------ "I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal" ~Incubus
[This message has been edited by lilnerd (edited 08-02-2001).]
posted
Well then I dont think that your relationship is mongamus. Do you tell your partner? If you do, he doesnt care? What does he say to you? Are you happy? I need a little more info..then maybe I could answer better.
I think that if you are cheating on your boyfriend without him knowing then there is really no relationship. If you arent happy in your relationship then you should talk to him. It is totally different when you and your partner tell eachtother that you are monogamus then if you tell eachother that you dont mind to see other people.(Am I making any sense?)
------------------ *~*~12/3/99*~* *~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't" -Erica Jong<~~~no thats not me :)
posted
Since a lot of people have their own separate opinions on the definition of "love," no one can really tell you what to believe. In my opinion, however, it's definitely not love. My personal definition of love is faithfulness, communication, and attractions to the inner beauty. I believe that love is based on trust. If you feel like you have to be with other people, then your partner obviously isn't making you as happy as you should be. If you feel the need to cheat, then you should feel the need to end the relationship so the other persons involved do not get hurt. Again, this is all my opinion.
posted
Is this the same guy of which you said, "all he wants is the sexual side of our so called "relationship" ?
I think it's possible to be in love with someone without being in a committed relationship with them. If you're not capable of being in a monogamous relationship with them you shouldn't be duplicit about it though - definitely they should know where you truthfully stand on the nature of the relationship. If you really care about this person you should regret not telling them the truth. That's just not fair.
posted
Well, I was in very much the same situation. Recently I broke up with my b/f though. Anyways, I think that you can definatly love someone and still "go out" with other people. I don't think love has anything to do with being faithful unless you want to attach it to love. Also, there are differant levels of love. There's family love(we ackstab them all the time. heh), friend love(some of them backstab us and we sometimes do the same to them. heh.), and then theres romantic love(whats with the backstabing people?). But anyways, cheating isn't a good thing. If you want an open relationship then you should talk about it. If they don't have the same views about it as you then you're just gonna have to either a) give up on your glorious hope of an open relationship b) break up with them(as hard as that can be) or c) cheat on them. the third one is NOT recommended however, it is an option. A horrible one at that too. So, you can tell whoevers story that is this or whatever you take from this bored. Hope that helped some. Really. *Kat*
------------------ "For, you see, each day I love you more. Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow." -Rosemonde Gerard
posted
I agree with glitter695. "Monogamous relationship" doesn't imply that there are several other partners also. That sure isn't the "mono" (single) part of it. If the cheating is done without regrets (or just cheating at all in my opinion) than that tells me that the relationship is having some serious problems. If one person sees it alright to have multiple other partners, than s/he isn't into the whole idea of a monogamous relationship anymore. And if their "official" partner still wants a monogamous relationship, then I think it would be better for him/her to get "released" so they can find a person who wants to have a true monogamous relationship also.
People can have an open relationship and still love each other, but that only works if that is what they both want and not just one of them.
------------------ "1970 called. Al Pacino wants his car back."
posted
as somebody who's been witnessing a cheating relationship for some years now, i truely do not think that cheating says *anything* about the relationship itsself. i think it has a whole lot to say about the individual who does it, however. my parents have been married for nearly 30 years. why does my father cheat? i have no idea. my mom has been nothing but great to him. she's never cheated, and never thought about it. if the partner is not happy with the relationship, then why are they still in it? they should JUST LEAVE. okay im done.
Take Note: ill be gone for 2 weeks, so if i dont reply, that is why. ------------------ -Dust- Jessica
[This message has been edited by -Dust- (edited 08-02-2001).]
[This message has been edited by -Dust- (edited 08-02-2001).]
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Hope that helped some. Really. 
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