Alrite,I'll fill you in on my dilemma. My boyfriend of 6 months has this best friend and she's a girl. Now, don't get me wrong-there's nothing wrong with boy-girl friendships but they are extremely close, so much that they know everything about one another.
My relationship is a LDR and I don't get to see my boyfriend as much as his friend. This bugs me because they spend a lot of time together and I only see him once or twice a month.I know its like jealousy but sometimes I just don't trust him with her. She's the daring type and shes wacky and sometimes I find her to be the complete opposite of me.
My guy and I have had numerous discussions about her because I am not liking the whole friendship deal. Its like he puts me as second sometimes when I need him he goes to her instead. I understand that friends stick together but I feel like I'm invading their friendship and forcing him to talk to me but on the other hand I deserve to have him near me.
Another thing is that I'm spoiled when it comes to relationships. I'm used to being the spotlight and I crave attention from my significant other. With him and his friend, its like I'm sharing my spotlight and it feels like a duet instead of just me and him sometimes.
I just don't know what to do now. I'm not going to let this relationship go because of this. She isn't going anywhere either. Somebody pass a few words of wisdom to me, please!
------------------ -Ashli- Blondes have it made...brunnettes don't have an excuse to act stupid!
I've been on both sides of this issue, so I've got some insight.
When I first got together with my girlfriend, she had several very close guy friends. It bothered me, and I had problems trusting her (despite the fact I felt like a jerk about it). They were all really close, knew everything about each other, and one guy in particular was constantly pretty flirty. As I got to know her better, and understand her relationships with these people, it becames less of an issue.
We later went our seperate directions for a while, but stayed friends -- but our relationship had been forged into something completely new, like the friendships with the guys I worried about before. And now I was the one her boyfriend was worried about. Seeing it from that angle gave me a new appreciation for it, honestly.
So to draw this longwinded post to a close, "a little trust goes a long way." Unless you have a darn good reason not to, trust your guy when he says she's only a friend. If he's trustworthy, he'll mean it, and may even beat her off with a stick if that's what it comes to. While it may be nice to feel like you're in the spotlight, it's important to remember you're not the entire world. I've had several friendships literally fall apart because a friend became so involved with their S.O. that they forgot about their friends.
Well, I've been the best friend that's a girl and the girlfriend hated it. I wouldn't worry about it. Me and My best friend are as tight as two best buds can get. Getting worried about it just adds extra stress for everyone in the situation. It's hard not to think about it, but just trust your guy and let him and his best bud remain close. Believe me it helps if the girlfriend trust both of them, they probably have a special bond, that no one, not even a girlfriend, can break.
------------------ " We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere." :)
Posts: 23 | From: Northern California | Registered: Feb 2001
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