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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » my problems messing up things

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Author Topic: my problems messing up things
short stuff
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Member # 3415

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Hey everyone. I hope you all can take time to read this... =)

I have been going out with my boyfriend for about 10 months. I go to his family parties, but we always go off by ourselves. I go to his house sometimes and his family is very close... (doing a lot of family stuff together) My problem is that I always feel that I have to impress people. Ya know first impressions.. but those are over. I feel as if I am missing out on a lot because I am afraid to say something or do something stupid infront of his familythat would make me look.. well... stupid. But I know now, me not talking is ruining things. I just never know what is the right thing to say.

And to top that, his borhter's girlfriends are the exact opposite of me and always talk to the family... so when we are all together, I always feel left out. I was wonering if anyone can help me out here on some tricks of the trade when it comes to talking to families.. lol. But also, I am really shy and nervous (as other people) when it comes to people I really need to impress... but dang... it's been 10 months and I still can't open up. Thanks for reading this and your advice. Take care!

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(heart) always, sarah boo

*I need to know if you were real, I'd hate to think that I've been fooled again*
*I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend...*
*I cry because I know he doesn't feel the way I do. I cry because I think of how pathetic I am. And I cry because I think I'll be crying forever.*


Posts: 90 | From: seattle, washington, usa | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
blackbird
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I know how you feel. I get nervous enough meeting new people for the first time. Opening up to them is an even longer shot for me. Even some of my parents' friends who have known me for years, I'm STILL uneasy around them and can't mutter any words out. Have you talked to your boyfriend about this? Maybe it would be easier if when you hanged out with the family it was in a smaller situation than a huge party. You might be more comfortable if you, you boyfriend and his parents had dinner together. I think that that might make you feel more at ease.

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"1970 called. Al Pacino wants his car back."

blackbird's blog


Posts: 354 | From: san mateo, california, usa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Were it me, short stuff, I'd actually be really honest, and get a private moment with his folks and say, "You know, I don't mean to be behaving weirdly, I'm just really nervous and worried about your opinion of me."

Really, sometimes just getttting it out there can make a world of difference, and anyone who has ever had to meet a partner's parents 9as his parents probably had to themselves) knows it can be stressful.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cypher
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Ah, honey, been where you're at many times before....

Right now I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and I currently spend a lot of time with his family (whether he's around or not) and it's quite hard to strike up a relationship at first. I still worry about what they think of me, but I've learned to let go of that self-conciousness a little and live more in the moment. Bring up a topic of conversation you're interested in and that should get the wheels rolling.

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Smile, though your heart is breaking....

My crazy little universe....

"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there....
With open arms and open eyes...."

-Incubus


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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