I suppose this is going to be a little bit of venting, but mostly I'm seeking imput and advice on my current situation....
Right now I lead a really hectic life. I've been in a relationship for just over a year now and we're headed off to school together on the other side of the country come September. I also have a really rough time with my own family (physical and emotional abuse) that I sometimes find hard to deal with. I live in a shared house with three guys and, while it isn't ideal, it's better than nothing.
The stress I've been experiencing over the past few months has accumulated with me developing physical problems. Stomach aches and tensing of my muscles. It's been really painful at times.
Needless to say I had an issue with my family at work today and it ended with me having one of my old stomach problems and me bleeding a little from my nether regions.
So I called my boyfriend (we're very close) while he was away for the day visiting his father and asked him if he could take me to the doctor tomorrow. I really didn't want to call him, but one of my co-workers insisted. He told me he's going to pick me up tomorrow morning and take me. He'll be back from his father's tonight, as he was supposed to be before.
I guess my problem here is that I feel bad for always needing him and relying on him when something like this happens. And that's fairly often. At least once a week. We already spend a lot of time together and I don't want my problems to overwhelm him. About six months ago they did and we went through a really rough period. Now we've grown from that and he tells me that he's matured and my personal issues no longer scare him or smother him.
I don't know. I can't help but feel like maybe they will. I hate unloading all this on him and relying on him quite so much. If I could do this alone I would, but the buses are on strike where I live and the doctor is nowhere nearby. I don't really feel comfortable talking to my friends about these things.
He's a great guy and I love him to bits, but I want to be fair to him. I don't want to smother him and make things worse on us. I don't know. Is this making any sense?
If anyone has any advice or feedback I'm eager to hear it. Thanks!
Smile, though your heart is breaking....
My crazy little universe....
"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there....
With open arms and open eyes...."