Hey everyone. I'm not new here at all, but started a LONG while ago, sometime last year I believe. I am back from goign to the hospital EARLY this year and am doing pretty good. ANYHOW to the topic!
I met this girl at church camp this summer and we found that we had a lot in common and like each other a lot. I don't get to talk to her much now because she lives an hour away from me. Just like every other teenager, I get those feelings during the day and sometimes even get pretty emotional, cause I'm lonely and REALLY miss her. I haven't heard from her for a few days and I've sent a couple emails, she should have gotten my letter in the mail, plus I've called her once. I haven't liked a girl this much since..well since my first real girl friend. When I was with my ex-g/f I gave selfless love. I just wanted her to be happy, cause if she was happy then so was I.
My problem is, When I'm really missing her and I start getting all these romantic feeligns *we're not going out yet* I want to share them with her, but she's not on for me to share them with. So a couple times I've talked to this one girl I've known for a LONG time that lives in Canada. I put the romantic feelings I'm feeling for this girl *Steph* and I share them with this girl online! It feels sooo good to get these feelings out to someone, but it's not Stephanie.
My problem here is, IS THIS RIGHT or Ok for me to do this? Sometimes my will power isn't up to par and well I don't know. It's just really bugging me all the time now. I'm starting to like this girl online too, but not even close to how much I really like Steph. I hate hurting people, and I was stupid about this before, with my first girlfriend and actually cybered one time. I felt really bad afterwards, b/c she felt really bad. I think that could have been what broke us up, but I don't really care what broke us up anymore cause we're not together anymore anyways. It hurts ME really bad when I hurt other people, or just to see other people hurting. I feel horrible, even when I don't cause it. I don't know what steph will think about it, but I haven't really 'cybered' since having these feelings for each other.
Now I really want this to work. But it is so hard cause I get so lonely, so easily. And To make matters worth, I get horny and don't have a ton of will power on me. I'm one of those people that fall for girls really easily, cause I was never used to them liking me and when they did, it just delighted me and I'd just fall for them. I'm not falling for this girl in Canada, cause I won't let myself. But WHAT can I do?!?!?! :sad: I could really use advice on this. As you can tell by the length of the post, I'm thinking A LOT about this.
P.S Hey Miz Scarlet! Been a while eh? I've got my Icq back online. So maybe we can talk again sometime. Thanks for helping me out during those hard times. I really appreciated it. I even made Who's Who among american Highschool students! Yay! pretty cool eh? Well I missed you all, great to see some of you are still as active as ever before!
buh bye now,