My boyfriend James just broke up with me and I'm really really upset. He saids his parents are mad cause they found the notes I wrote him.....which are kind of sexual. Anyway he wants some time apart so his parents wont call my parents up and tell them what I wrote. He saids that if hes parents know we arent together anymore they wont say anything.....and he saids that it wont blow over until about a YEAR! And I really love him and I'm upset I have to go through with this and I dont know what to do! A lot of my friends say taht maybe I should try a secret relationship. What do you all think?
In my opinion, anything secret, doesn't always stay that way long. Parents are really smart, I'm sure they'd catch on.
Were the things that you wrote sexual things that you two were doing together? If so, than I'm not surprised his parents were a little upset. It's not exactly a fun way to find out your teen's sexual life, or thoughts. I'd ask your (now) ex boyfriend what exactly it is that his parents are so upset about, and what they said to him. And then I'd ask him to maybe try talking to his parents about the notes they found. I find it hard to believe that your boyfriend knows exactly how much time his parents will be "over this". I think you really need to talk this through with your boyfriend about why these notes are such a big problem, and why they have put an end to your relationship. I hope things work out for you. sorry I can't really be of more help.
------------------ Lil Siren -Scarleteen Advocate "Those are some BIG ice cubes...."
Siren is right. Anything secret is probably not a good idea and you run more risks in this case.
What you might want to do is have a talk with him and ask him what the problem is exactly. It doesn't make much sense for me to break up over a couple of notes that have been found but then it is his rationale.
So ask him if there is anything else you think can be done to save the relationship. A talk with his parents maybe? If he says no, then just let it go sweetie.
I know it is hard to just let a relationship go but if that is what he wants, you just have to accept it. Stay friends and see what could happen when this blows over.
I think you really should just come to terms with all this. I mean maybe you should both talk to your parents, and i don't think you should let them break you guys up if you think you really have a good thing. Before all that i think you should ask this guy if it's really about the situation with the rent's or if it's something that he's feeling and is too afraid to express. The answer to this will tell you exactly what to do. If it's him, you know, okay, it's not working out between the two of you. But if it's not then i think you two should go on, anf go out, and deal with whatever comes with that. But he must be completely honest with you. good luck.
Posts: 162 | From: NYC | Registered: Dec 2000
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It sounds to me like there's a little more going down on James' side than he's revealing.
Just as was said above, a secret relationship would be too risky. It's not worth the possible mess.
Sit down with him and talk it over. If he's still interested in having a relationship, despite this incident, ask him to have a talk with his parents. If he's unclear, tell him to come clean. If he's no longer interested in having a relationship and is using this as an excuse, let go of him. He isn't worth it.
Hope this helps.
------------------ Smile, though your heart is breaking....
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