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Topic: confused HELP!

SumMeRbAbE69
Neophyte
Member # 471

posted

alright heres the deal there s this guyi like i have liked him for like 7 months and some days. In the beginning he told me he like me and then in a week chaged hs mind i was heart broken, i dint know what i did. well i was almot over him then i called to see why he wasn't at school about a week and a 1/2 ago. he caled meback later that night and told mehe was starting to like me. oh lord i almost passed out i was SO happy... then he came over like night that week and acted like he liked me and i talk to him o the fone but i wanna go out with him what should i don wait for him to be ready or move on??

respond anybody please!! thanx a lost person!

Posts: 2 | Registered: Jul 2000 | IP: Logged |

rambler
Activist
Member # 3023

posted

You have to decide what is important to you.
By this I mean the following: You know that he has been somewhat leading you on. One moment he says one thing and another thing the next minute. Now, in the best of worlds, this just means what it probably means: he is obviously confused, and you are confused, but right now he has the strings...since he can tell you "I like you/I don't like you/whatever" depending on his mood, then he's got the upper hand. Which doesn't leave you in the best of situations. Furthermore, I personally just wouldn't sit through this "I do/I don't" stuff because either he does or he doesn't and to keep changing his mind on you is cruel but I can't tell from just talking to you what his intentions are.

So you have basically three courses of action which can put you in a little bit more control of the situation, and stop this game he is playing with you.

#1: You be brave and tell him how you feel, face rejection, but at least are honest and will know for sure what is going on in his head. Of course, you still leave yourself open to maybe/maybe not back and forth stuff, but you can tell him (and you should, IMO) that you don't want to have that kind of stuff going on and that he should make a decision and stick with it.

#2: You tell him that you don't want to be manipulated by his back and forth stuff and that if he can't be decisive about it then you aren't interested.

#3: You play hard to get (or never-to-get...hehe...) by just ignoring him since he can't make up his mind, and if he wants you really badly after you're ignoring him, well, tell him not to play these little games in the future because he'll lose his chance.

Any way you go with it you have a risk you're taking but this is what life, and relationships in particular, are about. The reality of it is that he's probably just confused but he may very well not be interested in you and you'd really rather find someone who is 100% certain they ARE interested in you than play this cat and mouse game. I promise you.

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rambler
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Posts: 141 | Registered: Mar 2001 | IP: Logged |

Siren
Activist
Member # 3243

posted

I don't suggest waiting for him. In movies, they make waiting for that special someone seem so romantic, but in reality it's a waste of your time. What happens if you spend months waiting for him to be ready, and then he decides he doesn't want to be with you?

My advice is just ask him, "What's going on with us? Are we friends? More than friends? Seeing eachother? Boyfriend and girlfriend? because I'm a little confused." And at this point I think it's okay to tell him that you're interested in him as more than a friend, and you just want to know how he feels about it. Good luck.

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Lil Siren
-Scarleteen Advocate
"Those are some BIG ice cubes...."

Posts: 190 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged |

Cypher
Activist
Member # 1881

posted

When I was in highschool there was this one boy who all the girls were head-over-heels for. He was gorgeous and funny and artsy and musical and charming and mysterious. But he had one little problem. His ego. He loved it when a girl liked him and he'd go to almost any length to seal her feelings for him. And then he'd make up some excuse why they could be together ("I like you, but my parents say that I'm not allowed to have a girlfriend" was the best excuse by far he'd given anyone). I was fortunate enough to be interested in another guy, but a lot of my girlfriends fell victim to this Casanova. He seemed like a really nice guy, too. He and I even became friends. Well, many of my girlfriends were hurt because he'd told them he liked them and they just kept waiting for him to ask them out. I thought he may just have been confused. Then he and I were sitting together one night and I was telling him of my deep crush on this guy (who now happens to be my boyfriend) and how it was hard and he was telling me of this girl he had feelings for and all of a sudden he started kissing me! I stopped that immeadiately because I certainly wasn't interested and he kept suggesting that since we were both single and not interested in one another we could be friends with benefits. That's about the time I realized what a jerk he really was and how he liked to play with people without any regard for their feelings.

Don't wait for him, sweetie. If he ends up asking you out in the end, do what you want to do. But someone who has jerked you around in the past is never worth putting your life on hold for.

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Smile, though your heart is breaking....

My crazy little universe....

"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there....
With open arms and open eyes...."
-Incubus

Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged |

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