posted
Let me give a little background on my girlfriend and I...we had a spark going and things were absolutely GREAT....then she got the flu and we were left to communicate by phone for almost two weeks (my phone skills are lacking and my life is esoteric and boring at that)...i think some of our spark died, but I'm digressing. I went over to her house to talk about "what she wants" (that is sounds like break-up talk to me) I basically just told her how much I really liked her, and I thought it would be worth it to try and smooth out any problems in the relationship. She said: She's really busy right now (this time in her life), maybe when things calm down a bit we can hit things off. She is still attracted to me. It's really not me, it's her (neeeever heard that one before). She hoped I didn't expect her to date me when I went off to college. (I accept this one)
MY QUESTION: What am I supposed to make of this? Are we on break or what?
She just left for three weeks so it kind of leaves me in dating purgatory...if it had been an honest, direct breakup I would at least know what to feel. I can't just turn off my feelings for her.
Thanks for the help, --chuck-- "i've known a lot of girls before, what's the harm in knowin' one more? maybe we could even get together, maybe you could break my heart next summer." --Weezer, Why Bother?
Posts: 14 | From: Virginia | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
So your girlfriend got the flu and all these things changed?? Hmmm that just sounds a little odd to me, I dunno.
You have to ask her if you are on a break, nobody knows unless you ask. I think that if she wants a break you have to respect that. You can't make someone be in a relationship that they dont want to be in. I know its hard, but you have to talk to her a little more to find out whats really going on, you also have to tell her how you feel. Right now thats the best thing you can do. Good Luck
------------------ *~*~12/3/99*~* *~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't" -Erica Jong<~~~no thats not me :)
posted
I appreciate the help but don't patronize my problem please, we never argued ever so I am just trying to rationalize why this would arise so suddenly...you have to understand that going hot and heavy one weekend and then going almost sterile and seperate due to time constraints (on both of our schedules) and additionally the flu (I was in love with her not her germs) DOES have a limiting and potentially crippling effect on a relationship... the mind is proported to be the biggest erogenous zone, but it is still an awkward situation to be thrust upon anyone: being stuck to phone conversation and internet interaction right when I felt we had reached that one point where: the object of desire is all that exists, food and water are not required to sustain life and out only fear was our hearts would burst from excessive joy. All the excstasy of being attached to someone like that and then not having them there is sort of like a wake-up call to the fact that they will not be there always, and i think part of the reason why she would act like this...as if maybe she didn't want to hurt me but also didn't want to be hurt herself ultimately. I would ask her directly but there is a little problem which I think i mentioned in my last post: SHE IS GONE FOR 3 WEEKS. I can't do anything right now, so that is why i am asking for translation to try and ease my feelings of uneasiness.... end rant.
Posts: 14 | From: Virginia | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I don't think glitter was patronizing your problem honey. In fact I think her advice is pretty good.
If she isn't around, I think there is little you can do at this point of time. Just be patient and wait for her to come back so you can sort things out with her.
Sort out if you are on a break and why she has decided to take things slow for a while.
posted
Actually, I can see how her getting the flu could change things. My bf and I were totally great and still are, but I got mono awhile ago. If he weren't the great guy he is, we would have broken up just from the lack of communication. We had our moments when we were fighting and whatwas really going on was we missed eachother and we were frustrated about not being able to see eachother.
What this sounds like to me is that she thought about it while she was sick and realized that maybe she didn't need or want a bf right now. I would say talk to her about it.
If you were a pesamist(sp) you might say she said she wanted to take a break cuz she was going away for three weeks and wanted freedom for one reason or another (another guy), but I wouldn't assume that. It sounds like you two are really great together!!
Posts: 5 | From: Washington USA | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
No, I wasnt patronizing anything and Im sorry if you thought I was. Really still I dont think that getting the flu or Mono should changes things like that, I always thought that getting sick would make somebody closer.
When I had mono, yeh I really miss my boyfriend, but what people always told me is absence makes the heart grow fonder. And it did, when I finally got better, and I got to see my boyfriend, it was wonderful.
Again I am sorry if I came off wrong, its not what I meant to do.
------------------ *~*~12/3/99*~* *~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't" -Erica Jong<~~~no thats not me :)
posted
Hey, it sounds to me like she's just breaking up with you, but trying to "be nice about it". it seems lame to me that she would do all that over a 2 week flu, but some people do things like that... how long were you going out before this? i don't know, i guess something about the way she said it reminded me of the way my friend broke up with her last boyfriend, so i think you should assume that she's done with the relationship. but if you really want a straight answer, talk to her about it! good luck, -alex
------------------ you wanna be just like me, i wish i could be myself you wanna be just like me, i can't think of no one else... -Reel Big Fish
Posts: 120 | From: california...well, at least it sounds cool. | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged |
Copyright 1998, 2013 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic