OK everyone what is more important looks or personality? many tell me that personality is most important, ok i don't want to sound too big headed here but i think i have quite a good personality but i'm still single at 18.
to those who have a partner what attracted you to them?
well, of course in the first impresions looks are important, Because they are first impressions duh. But another thing that is important is how you dress and look. If I see a guy that is cute with uncombed greasy hair that hasn't been washed in weeks, and an outfit that is crumpled and stained, I'd rather talk to a not so cute guy that is CLEAN!
I"m definetly more for personality. Mostly I talk to guys on the computer and on the phone, so I don't think about what they look like, I just think about THEM. And that's how it all starts with me. Now some girls are superficial, like a lot of really popular girls will only go out with really popular guys that are cute enough for them. So that's that. But for most of the girls I know, first impressions only last a few seconds. Then it's about what's inside than out.
well for me personality.... my bf isn't the best looking. people make fun of his ears...it's not that bad!!! BUT I LOVE THEM!!! in my opinion he's the sexist guy alive!! he's a GREAT dresser. always on top of style (he has ALL the Jordan's). most of all his sense of humor is what attracted me. when he told a friend that he wanted to get with me...i laughed!! but we talked for 4 hrs about everything and i fell in love. he was attracted to my looks though. i wouldn't blame him....j/k!!!! then he fell for my personality. hope i helped.
------------------ ~*GoDdEsS oF lOvE aNd BeAuTy*~
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ JaMeS & DoReEn 4eVeR ^*^*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
I think that personality is an integral part of sexiness, in my book. A guy can be the best looking guy in the world- but can be a total airhead jerk, therefore he's not sexy at all, to me. I think that sexiness is WAY more than just a person's looks, in my opinion....
------------------ "Can't this wait til I'm old?"-Phish
[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 06-14-2002).]
I think that personality is say 70% of the pie. Its definetely over 50%. I'm going through a time where I really want to find a guy with a great personality but looks do matter. No one wants a toad. I don't think that I'm being shallow to say that, but the importance I put in appearance is small compared to the person on the inside. KevMezz, I'm almost your age and I'm single. Right now I don't mind it. Maybe your single because you have values and are just looking for the right person. Being single and happy is better then being attached with a gorgeous guy that's stuck on himself and treats you like dirt. So please don't think that something is wrong with you. And eighteen is young. You may be an adult by law but you are still a TEENAGER!
Posts: 52 | From: Ohio | Registered: Jul 2000
| IP: Logged |
oh my...a guy with an awesome personality is the sexiest thing EVER! if they are sweet and kind and caring? *mega-drool* sweethearts can melt the coldest of hearts...and then make them into sticky messes of mush! okay now i'm blabbering... but my point is, personality is a BIG and awesome thing.
Posts: 72 | From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Jul 2000
| IP: Logged |
to me, they are pretty much equal, to be totally honest. they have to make a balance. i can't go out with a jerk who's rediculously good-looking. but i dont think i could stand to go out with a guy who's hard on the eyes with a great personality. i might give it a shot, but im sure it wouldn't work for me.
Posts: 63 | From: Virginia, U.S.A | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
i think definately personality. my boyfriend and i were friends first so i got to know him really well. i was attracted to him of course, but his personality is what made me like him as more than just a friend.
i also think that when a guy isn't super good looking,liking his personality and being in love makes him hotter to you.
theres lots of hot guys out there & the reason i'm with my boyfriend & not them is because i'm attracted to his personality as well. a guy can't just be all looks and no personality or else the relationship won't last.
------------------ "Be who you are & say what you feel cuz those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "No guy is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry"
I was friends with my guy first too and although I thought he was good looking, I was most attracted to how he was as a person. He is so caring and sweet and nice. I just want to kiss him all over when I see him and wrap him up in hugs *awwwww*
------------------ Love can't be explained...it's just sitting there looking smiley!
Posts: 109 | From: Birmingham, West Midlands, UK | Registered: Jun 2000
| IP: Logged |
When it comes down to it, personality is very important because looks can and will change. However, the personalities in question have to "click". Not everyone gets along and not everyone is attracted to everyone else. Personality, looks and attractiveness is a very subjective thing.
You just have to meet the right person who will "click" with you.
Quite honestly, I can't even imagine how I'd divide a person up in that way.
When we look at someone, even if we are only looking visually, what we see is a combination of who they are and then how thier various parts are put together. How someone smiles, for instance, isn't based solely on how their mouth and teeth are constructed. How someone dresses, wears their hair, how they walk or move: these are all things that reflect their personality, not their genetic makeup.
To be blunt, I think if any of us think we really can determine a very clear break between the way someone looks and who someone is, we're probably kidding ourselves.
Looks don't matter as long as you're attracted to the person. And what attracts you to a person? Their personality and their looks. Gee, that didn't come out the way I wanted it to. Anyway, I think that the more you get to know a person and how great they are, they tend to look better than before you knew them.
I'm just a jumble today.
------------------ "Her laugh turned to a moan at the first ripple in her bones. She tensed her thighs and abdomen to will the change on, and clutched the night air like a lover as her fingers lengthened and her nails sprouted...The night, she thought, the sweet night"
personality is a real turn on for me. most people dont believe me when i say that, b/c im always checkin my hair n'stuff but i would NEVER go out with a guy unless he was funny , nice and willing to make a total clown out of himself when we went out on a date.:P
------------------ IF LIFE GIVE U LEMONS...THROW THEM BACK AND DEMAND ORANGES!!! LIVE FOR TODAY AND NOT TOMORROW
Posts: 92 | From: Somewere over the rainbow | Registered: Jul 2000
| IP: Logged |
I hate to judge someone based on looks because it tells nothing about their personality. But honestly for me it does help if the guy looks good too because thats what I notice about a guy when I first meet him. But the most important thing to me is personality.
Posts: 4 | From: Amherst, Ma 01002 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
Personality is far more important then looks (though as you say, looks do matter too, because otherwise you wouldn't be physically attracted to them). My bf isn't the best looking guy in the world, but since I've been friends with him forever, I love him for him, in totality (looks and personality).
I can honestly say that if you care about someone than they get better looking as you get to know them better. In the end it's the emotional connection that matters, not anything physical.
I know I've sort of jumbled up my answer, but I think it's important to love them for them, for their jokes, their flaws, their teasing, whatever, rather than their looks.
What I find most attractive about anyone, regardless of what they look like, is intelligence. Even the intelligence to admit that they don't know something.
The way someone treats me is also a big factor.
I've found that if you get to know someone well, and if you love someone, they look a lot better to you because you love the way they are, and any "imperfections" that you might have found really aren't that important to you anymore.
Sometimes you end up being attracted to someone in looks after falling in love with their personality...
Honestly, when I look at someone, I don't look at personality or looks or intelligence or anything like that. Generally, I look for someone who I'm attracted to (which sometimes has very little to do with looks, it's more of a chemistry thing) and someone around whom I feel at ease and comfortable. I'm on my third serious relationship, and my boyfriends are all completely different in a lot of respects. What they have in common, though, was that there was some sort of spark between me and them. Some sort of vibe. It's very difficult to describe, except that I knew within five minutes that I was going to end up going out with them. (And my current boyfriend told me he thought the same thing about me.)
So to answer the question, neither of them are as important as the overall feeling you get from the person.
------------------ --Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.--
When I first met my guy (my first boyfriend), he was singing my favorite song by my favorite band as he sat in front of me on the bus. As I got to know him, he constantly has fun, makes fun of everyone, and is not afraid to speak his mind. He's not the greatest looking, even though I think he is, but his voice....He's a little choir boy with a voice like Barry White's. I'll just say I'm his, hook line and sinker. He knows when to be serious and when to have fun. So I guess, for me, It's all about personality.
------------------ Draw closer if you dare, feel the wind of the massive wings, the heat of flaming breath, the steel stare of fiery eyes... and let your dreams take flight...
I think that personality is much more important than looks. I mean, I could never stay in a relationship with a "hot" guy who had a boring personality. I'll admit that looks may have something to do with a first impression, but I think that if you get to know the person better then looks don't really matter anymore.
------------------ *^Lucky^* "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as though you'll die today."
I need to wake up every morning to a cute face or else i will be unsatisfied. You can call me materialistic, but its far from the truth. I had serious relationships with 3 girls who were really good looking and had great personalities. During the relationship they weren't "good looking" enough for me because i lost attractiveness to them. I was really attracted to them in the beginning and then it just faded. So i now choose to be friends with potential girlfriends now first so i can see if the looks fade to me. It had nothing to do with personality because they were sweethearts. I made the mistake 3 times of being in a serious relationship knowing it would end because they weren't "good looking" enough for me. I mean how in the world can you explain that to someone. So now for me, I have to make sure that if I date a girl its more important that I can be attracted to them forever. That way i don't break anymore undeserving hearts. So Looks first and then Personality. Going on 10 months tuesday with the greatest girl ever.
For my money, if someone is a smart, funny, compassionate, worthwhile, engaging, ethical, interesting person, I care relatively little about looks (though reasonably recently washed is a must). I have always fallen in love first, and ended up thinking my partners were beautiful because I loved them rather than thinking my partners were beautiful, and falling in love because I thought they were beautiful. For me, the qualities that never fade are what make someone beautiful... the "skin deep" kind of beauty is really pretty irrelevant to me.
I think that ,yeah, at first sight you may think, hes cute but just remember, for 1-beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and for 2- you can be the most beautiful person in the world and if their nasty *** mean people they turn into the ungliest. and you can be the ugliest and once you get to know them they can be the coolest, most beautiful sexy creature that ever walked the earth.
Just my 14 year old opinion
------------------ ~dont underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers~
~Duck tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and binds the world togther~
I'm ~You*Know*Who~ and I am a redneck. Anyone for mud?
Good looks don't hurt, but they aren't everything. If a guy I like is really cute but not exactly a conversationalist, then it's hopeless. I have to be able to have good conversations with my boyfriend. Ones that don't revolve around football. No offense. They make great friends, but being smart in a way is a turn on. I mean, I personally think that being able to relate to someone on a mental level is such a connection!
[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 06-14-2002).]
Everyone says personality, but... as a man resembling the backside of a sickly horse, I'd have to completely disagree.
It seems... like if someone is interesting, with a great personality, but is ugly beyond sin, he becomes... the dreaded "brother"
But when someone is attractive, and stupid, he becomes... "the mistake you talk about constantly to the one you call 'brother'"
So sure, personality is more important... but no one cares. Your great personality becomes horse poo when compared to looks. you get left behind, and stepped on, until she realizes she made the same mistake, and comes crying to you. And for 2 weeks, you get to hear about "why do I keep ending up with the same kind of guys"
Copyright 1998, 2013 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.