I generally use the pull out method with my partner, last time my ex and I had a fling, he did something that really made me mad and I am unsure how to address it. He cummed inside me knowing I wasn't on birth control. He told me later that he knew I couldn't get pregnant due to I was on my period, still---I am hurt. I feel disrespected, insulted, and unsure of myself. I want to avoid him, but my father just hired him after he told him his sob story of how he needed a job and is now over almost every day... What should I do? I don't want to tell my father what happened or lie. I am unsure what this means for me when I am around him and fear he is trying to own me. I hate him yet I believe right now in his life I am his only life line. I am emotionally confused as to what I should do.
Posts: 198 | From: Ca, USA | Registered: Dec 2005
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I am so sorry this happened to you, lil_kiwi! What this guy did is not okay. It is a form of abuse that we call reproductive coercion - when someone tries to control or take away your reproductive choices. That is exactly what this guy did, and it is extremely disrespectful.
It's also not necessarily true that you cannot get pregnant during the period: unless you chart your basal temperatures and cervical mucus, you cannot be sure when you ovulate. When did this happen? If it was less than 120 hours ago, you can still obtain EC.
As for where to go from here: Can you talk to your father about this? If you don't want to tell the whole story, you can still just tell him that you and this guy went out a few times, he treated you badly, and you don't want to have him around you.
What else can we do to help you?
-------------------- Johanna Scarleteen Volunteer
"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand Posts: 9177 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005
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