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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Depressed

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Author Topic: Depressed
blueyedgirl
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Member # 74026

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Ive been through a lot these past few monthes. My mom used to abuse me, before we got a protective order against her in june and soon found out shes manic bipolar. I havnt seen her in monthes. So my dad, little brother, and i moved to va. I didnt know it when we moved here, but my dad come to find out has a girlfriend, WHO IS AS OLD AS HIS YOUNGEST SON. Shes cool but i dont like the fact that since shes here all the time, he never pays any attention to my brother or me. He's 42 and has a 21 year old girlfriend. I find it highly disgusting.
With everything going on, i didnt tell you all of it, ive began to think about cutting myself. I have tried the slinging a rubber band on your wrist, but i dont find it useful at all. So i want to cut myself. Right now, the only thing keeping me from doing it is Demi Lovato's song, Skyscraper. But i cant hold on much longer. And i DONT want to talk to a shrink.
What do i do?

Posts: 5 | From: VA | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
atm1
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I know it seems hard, but it's very likely that you will need professional help to stop cutting. If you are afraid of hurting yourself and need help, you can always go to an emergency room.

I need to go to bed, but I wanted to make sure that you have access to some other resources:

*http://www.selfinjury.com – has tips for how to stop.

*1-800-273-TALK – A 24-hour crisis hotline if you’re about to self-harm or are in an emergency situation.

I've put a note up for other volunteers to check in with you soon.

[ 08-01-2011, 11:51 PM: Message edited by: atm1 ]

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Kachina
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Hi blueeyedgirl, can I ask why you don't want to talk with a therapist? Have you had troubles with them in the past?

It's very hard to get over mental illnesses like depression and self-injury all on our own. That is why there are doctors who specialize in helping us through these things. You wouldn't not go to a doctor if you broke your arm, right? A therapist is just a different kind of doctor.

I know it can be hard to get the courage to go, but wouldn't it be better to NOT feel depressed and like cutting yourself? I really encourage you to talk to your father or another adult if you can and see if they can help you get a therapist. And please call that number atm1 listed if you feel you are about to self-harm. They can also direct you to resources in your area if you feel uncomfortable asking your dad.

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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blueyedgirl
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i just dont like shrinks. and i havnt cut myself yet..just thinking about it.
im just scared of what might happen if i do.

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Kachina
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What do you mean when you say you don't like them? You know they aren't all alike, right? Like, if you didn't like one, that doesn't mean they are all like that one person.

It's totally understandable that you are scared of what might happen. But even if you haven't hurt yourself, it does sound like you are suffering from some depression, is that correct?

I see you've tried the rubber band thing, which leads to believe you HAVE been to a therapist before, and I'm sorry if they were someone you didn't like much. I'm going to give you another suggestion. One reason people can become compulsive self-harmers (another reason NOT to start if you have not yet! Once you do, it's harder to stop.) is because when you are hurt your brain releases endorphins in order to help you cope with pain. Since depression is a pain, it can be natural to want that coping mechanism to come into play. But there is a much better, safer, healthier way to release those endorphins - exercise for at least 20 minutes. The feeling after exercise (often called a "runner's high") is your body giving you endorphins, which can make you feel good. Might you be able to try that when you have the urge to harm yourself?

[ 08-02-2011, 01:45 AM: Message edited by: KatWA ]

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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blueyedgirl
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i work out at the gym every other day for about an hour and a half.
im not that old tho, im only 14. gonna be a freshman in hs at the end of this month.
and yeah, im for sure depresssed. i go from happy to sad real quick sometimes too. but im depressed most the time now a days.

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Kachina
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I'm sorry you are depressed. Does the gym leave you a good feeling right after you're done? Might you be able to have quick workouts at home for times you are feeling like self-injury? A jump rope or jogging up and down stairs can work for indoors, or a bike ride or run if it's daytime.

Exercise alone will not cure your depression. (As you can tell since you already get plenty of exercise.) These are just suggestions to get you past those tough times when you feel like cutting. To get over depression, you really need professional help. And since your mother has bipolar and that can run in families, and you say you go from happy to sad real quick, it might be a possibility you have bipolar. Can you tell me why it is you don't like therapists?

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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blueyedgirl
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because my mom tried to get the family to go at one time. and it totally ending up crashing down. i feel like you pay shrinks money to just sit and listen to you talk. seems a bit stupid to me.
i mean i dont want medicine to make me happy. i just wanna be able to live my high school life, without the constant sadness and feeling lonely.

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Kachina
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Well, they do more than just listen, they also give advice and teach you better ways to manage difficult situations you are in. And some therapists are good and some aren't, just like doctors, so maybe the one you went to wasn't a good fit for you?

Let's say you have a bad illness and you go to the doctor and he prescribes you some antibiotics. Of course you would rather not be sick to begin with and not need the medicine at all to be healthy, but you still take it anyway because you know you are sick and without you wouldn't get better, right? Mental illness is just like that. Some may require medicine, just like some other illnesses might require medicine. It doesn't "make" you happy. What it can do is enable you to not be constantly sad like you are feeling now, and let you live your life in a normal matter.

Wouldn't it be better to have someone help you feel better and to treat any depression you have, than having to suffer with it all the time? Like many other illnesses, it likely won't go away on it's own, it needs to be treated.

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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blueyedgirl
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i guess i'd rather get help..
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Kachina
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[Smile] I'm glad to hear that. Do you think you could discuss maybe getting help with your father or is there another adult you can talk to about this? I'm not sure if your school is open yet or not (sometimes they have summer programs) but a school counselor is always a good place to start as well.

[ 08-02-2011, 02:22 AM: Message edited by: KatWA ]

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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Kachina
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I have to go to sleep now, but we will check in on you tomorrow, ok? I have been through something similar to you so I know it can be very hard. I really think you won't regret it if you can find a good therapist who can help you get better. And if the first one you try isn't a good fit, I hope you try another and don't give up altogether. It's very much worth it to feel better, I promise.

If you cannot resist the urge to hurt yourself, please go to an ER or at least call that hotline. You can very easily accidentally hurt yourself very bad, even kill yourself, if you cut, so I really don't want you to try.

--------------------
~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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Kachina
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blueyedgirl, how are you doing today?

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

Posts: 873 | From: Seattle | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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