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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » HELP !

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Author Topic: HELP !
sunkissedx
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You spoke to me before as i said i had unprotected sex with my ex a week all the way up until the day before i turned. this will have been 24th-29th and maybe a few times before this week dotted about.

it is now february the 7th and ive just had sex with a guy i know and we having sex and he cum but kept going ad his penis got smaller causing him to pull out his penis without a condom but the condom was still inside of me and there might of been a spillage.

I havnt had a morning after pill anytime last year i might of had in march of lastyear but i have had quite a few morning after pills. if i take one tomorrow will it harm my body ?
and can i actually do this due to unprotected sex with my ex ? what if im already pregnant !

PLEASE HELP ME

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CoatRack
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If you are already pregnant then emergency contraception will not have any effect on the pregnancy.

Have you ever gone over how to properly use a condom? Condom Basics: A User's Manual is a great place to start. Condom usage doesn't end with putting it on - you have to remove it properly, too, which means holding the base when he pulls out.

I think the bigger thing here to talk about is whether the amount of sex and partners you have is emotionally the best decision for you. Have you thought about why you are taking so many risks? I think you might want to seriously consider whether having sex is something you want to be doing right now.

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sunkissedx
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how long after unprotected sex can i actually take a pregnancy test just incase , I went to the docters and she gave me the morning after pill. but i want to make sure ?

thanks for that link i will have a look at it now .

im going back on the pill to stop all the worries first time ive been single in 4 year just want to be free !

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Heather
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You'll want to wait until it's been around two weeks since the risk or whenever your period is late, if it is, whichever comes first.

Can you and I talk some about this? I'd like to talk to you about how to use condoms properly (which you need even if you go on the pill, because STI risks are just as prevalent as pregnancy risks, sometimes more so). But I'm also concerned, persopnally, about you moving unto other partners so soon after you have gotten yourself out of this last, very problematic, relationship that you felt very trapped in.

I'd just hate to see you wind up in that situation yet again, which is far more likely if you aren't giving yourself time and space to be on your own, without any partners.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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-Firefly-
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(Oops, Heather beat me to it [Smile] )

[ 02-09-2011, 10:00 AM: Message edited by: blysse_norwood ]

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sunkissedx
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im really not looking for any relationships at the moment i want to be single ! [Smile]
and thankyou for that advice heather , it was just with a guy i knew ages ago , we were more than friends but we'd never ever go out !
yeah well i know you need to use lube to prevent from it breaking and i know how to put one on for them.

Can i also ask another question. The day after the morning after pill , can you take any medication like asprin / paracetamol will this effect the morning after pill in anyway ?

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Karybu
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Over the counter painkillers will not affect the morning after pill. They're just fine to take.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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sunkissedx
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thankyou karybu so it is fine thats good i have the flu ! haha thanks for help i havnt dared to take anything
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sunkissedx
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there is also one thing i want to mention i do have issues satying out of a relationship but I am getting there id just like some advice o why I am like this ? Ive been in relationships since i was 14.
14-16 - 2 year relationship
16-17 - 1 year relationsship
17-now 1 year relationship that I finished
now single !

I have never got over the 2 year relationship i had it was so amazing even though we were young I really felt as happy as I am single there was no problems and the guy actually liked me now but we wouldnt go out and that was who I had sex with and it was amazing we didnt even feel the need to go back out. maybe in months - years to come we will try again but ive never ever felt the same with anyone else and ive had little flings inbetween those relationships. Im still not over him but i want to be sure of my feelings and im gunna end up waiting months to years ri get back with him now that we have talked about the situation as hes moving away for a month which would be difficult and thats at the end of the year so its deffo gunna be after that. whats your views ?

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Heather
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With the condoms, something else you, or a partner, always needs to do is to hold the base of the condom when withdrawing so it does not slip off. And if, ever again, you're with a partner losing their erection like that, you want to stop intercourse and have them withdraw, rather than continuing to try and winding up with a condom slipping off. For condoms to work, they need to be on fully erect penises.

On the relationship/sex partner piece, what it sounds like to me is that you simply haven't given yourself the chance to learn HOW to be outside romantic sexual relationships and how to focus on the other areas of your life. That's an impression I've long gotten from you in the time that you and I have been talking for.

With this new guy, it sounds to me like you're already thinking in a way about him that's about a long-term relationship, even though you are JUST out of one that you were in for a long time and that was very hard for you to get out of.

It's clear you put a lot of time and energy into sexual relationships, whether you're with someone as an ongoing partner or whether, like right now, you're just out of a relationship like that.

Can I ask if you feel that you have ever put just as much time and energy into non-sexual friendships? Into school? Into pursuing your own life goals and dreams? Into taking care of yourself, by yourself? Heck, into just being alone sometimes and enjoying your own company?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sunkissedx
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right thanks for that i will do that next time to avoid any problems.

I find myself not wanting to do that , stupidly but im doing it anyway because I need to find my independence. I did used to thibnk about him alot in other relationships and I have honestly found it hard to get over him but I know im not going to make the mistake of getting back with him because its not very wise for me to do so. But when time passes and i feel READY and i have a job learnt to drive i do want to go back into it. But that will be my last priority. I have actually explained this to him aswell btw.

I havnt ever made the effort with friends i have a problem because i dont get on as much with female than males and sometimes boys take that the wrong way and i'll end out for falling for them or whatever. I did put lots of effort into school because i wanted good grades. Ive also tried really hard in past jobs and i could focus on that. I can deffo take care of myself as i went into depression after splitting up with the ex that left me after 2 year as he had a football dream but that never worked out for him. I got myself out of that and decided to get counsiling for that.

I do enjoy being by myself im by myself alot , even when i was in a relationship id go shopping by myself visit people by myself everything really

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Heather
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Well, we can have non-sexual friendship with people of ANY gender, not just people of our same gender. At the same time, if you haven't put real effort in friendships with other women yourself, and have only put that effort in for guys, that's probably part of why you don't get on with women as well. And with the guys, I have a feeling that while they may be misinterpreting friendships as sexual or romantic interest, your own behavior might play a part in that: if you're starting to engage in sex or romance with them, after all, they're going to assume that's what you're interested in, you know?

I'd personally suggest, given your history and what you just clawed your way out of, that you do yourself a favor and for something like, let's say, the next three months to start, you take a break from dating and sexual relationships. Focus on things like making friends and investing time and energy in non-sexual friendships with people of all genders, seeking out a job or maybe more schooling or job training, learn to drive, learn to be by yourself without distractions like shopping or seeing other folks (which isn't actually being by yourself), maybe by picking up a hobby or creative project?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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sunkissedx
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i went out with a friend from school last week and i really enjoyed it , it was a laugh , id say its harder for me to get on with girls but if shes a bit like me and likes a laugh im alright. I did used to question whether i was bi but tbh i think i was just curious. I dont think theres anyway to tell , it was more in a sexual way not the relationship side of things.
me and my male friend that i regularly see the one i had sex with were talking the day before yesterday and we'd said it wouldnt matter if we seen or even had sex with other girls because we are at the same point in our lives wanting to be single for a while and basically just moving on and sorting ourselves out.
sometimes i do think what the hell am I doing , but i dont really think im that into him cause i know hes free as an individual to do what he wants aswell as me because we arnt together so i guess ive just got used to that over the weeks.
each day is getting alot easier for me being single and id never of thought id be saying that. My ex who i recently split up with text me the other night saying he thinks im pregnant. He was trying to convince me and tbh hes saying EVERYTHING under the sun to get me back. He goes a day without texting then suddenly he'll ask me random questions about what im up to and i never tell him because i really dont think its any of his buisness. I dont hate him or dislike him alot only a little tbh i feel sorry for myself more than anything.

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sunkissedx
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*if we seen or had sex with other girls and boys
Posts: 119 | From: Scotland | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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