Last week I was diagnosed with a severe clinical depression and chronic Anxiety. I was put on Effexor which is an anti-depressent. To say the least i'm having a hard to coping with the depression. I feel as if alot of my friends and family, the people i need the most right now, are abandoning me because of my problem. And i feel closed in. I find myself increasingly cutting/ stabbing myself, or hurting myself physically in hopes that my mental and emotional anguish will dissipate. I feel as if i can't live my life anymore.
The reason i've come here to tell all about my problem is because i feel as if i don't have anyone else to turn to. With the abandonment happening all around me i'm lost and confused. I don't even know what i'm trying to ask. Maybe i just need some insight as to why this is happening to me, or maybe i just need to vent, or maybe i'm just crazy who knows anyways thanks for your time for whoever bothers to read this.
Depression is actually a pretty common issue, especially in teens. I was diagnosed with both depression and anxiety when i was 16, so i can totally relate to where you're coming from.
Are you seeing a counselor? Drugs are all fine and well, but a lot of people find that they are better served with a combination of medication and therapy.
It's okay to ask for help ... If you need a hug or someone to talk to, it's totally A-OKAY to ask one of your parents or a friend for it. That is what friends/family are for ... And as well as they may know you, they're not mindreaders You need to ask for their help.
And to add what LilBlueSmurf said, anti-depressants (including Effexor) can make things worse at first or temporarily. "Patients who are started on therapy should be observed closely for clinical worsening, suicidality, or unusual changes in behavior," according to their website.
So, if you are feeling suddenly really worse or weird, tell someone you trust and get in touch with your doctor asap. (And absolutely get help if you are feeling suicidal.) However, our bodies can take awhile adjusting to anti-depressants, so some bumpiness isn't surprising if you just started a week ago. But check in with your doctor to make sure it's ok.
And definitely don't forget that people are there for you. It's hard to remember when everything seems so horrible, and that a lot of times people reacting oddly has nothing to do with you or what you did but rather something they are dealing with themselves.
You can always be like, "Hey Bob, I'm sorry if I rubbed you in the wrong way lately, I just started treatment for depression and trying to work things out." Then Bob will mostly likely say, "It wasn't you, I was just so stressed out the mid-term. But I've been worried about you and glad to hear you're getting help. Let me know what I can do to support you."
[This message has been edited by Ecofem (edited 02-21-2006).]
Depending on the medicine, I would either immediately call a Poison Control Center or 911. (If you're in the States...)
I don't mean to jump to conclusions here, but if you're seriously thinking of taking an overdose of medication, I would call or go to a friend or family member for support, call a suicide hotline, or call 911 if you feel in immediate danger of really harming yourself. Or if you feel that way in the future for that matter.
[This message has been edited by Ecofem (edited 02-24-2006).]
I tried to kill myself yesterday i was rushed to the hospital by ambulance and was looked after by the hospital staff to be discharged later on in the day.
Now for the emotional impact on this...I've lost my best friend because of this. She hasn't phoned, emailed, called family to see how i'm doing, to even see if i'm alright, the one person who i thought would help me through my time of need isn't here and it just hurts me even more than i was hurt before i tried to kill myself. I don't know what to do, i just want to be with her, i want to hear from her, i want to know that she's still there and that she still cares. I want to know that i still mean something to her. I've seeked help, i've signed a suicide contract with my psychologist stating that if i ever feel suicidal i would call her no matter the time of day. The hospital is hooking me up with one of their psychiatrists so that they can help me get through this. But the only thing i'm missing now are my friends. I don't know what to do with that regard...please help!
Have you tried calling or e-mailing her at all? Don't try and load anything she might not be ready for onto her, maybe just a simple, "I hope you'll give me a call back" or "I miss talking to you."
It is important for you to be able to have someone to speak to about what you're feeling, that is very real and very important, but as much as you'd like that to be your good friends, please understand that they might not be able to be there for you the way you want them to be.
Your friend may be frightened or very upset to the point that she doesn't want to contact you because she doesn't want her own feelings about the matter to worsen; she may herself feel hurt that you had a suicide attempt, and it's very likely that she is avoiding contacting you because she simply does not know how to help you or what to do or say in the situation; she may be afraid that she won't be able to help you and so is trying to push away from the situation entirely. it's hard to say, exactly, but she's probably handeling a lot of emotion, too.
Stick with the counseling or therapy, definitely, that is a wonderful outlet to discuss your feelings of depression and discuss where they may be stemming from, how you are progressing, finding exercises that can help you overcome much of your anxiety.
I'd suggest trying to seek out your friends to be friends. Ask them if they want to go to the movies, or out for lunch- keep your friends to do things friends do. If they approach you that they want to talk to you about what you're experiencing, then you can discuss it with them. Or if you're feeling you want to talk to one of them, ask them to tell you honestly if they will listen to you for awhile.
I wish there was more any of us could say to help and I hope my advice is sound and will help you even in the smallest way through this rough time. Good luck, hon.
I'm glad you were able to get help; I know this must be really hard for you right now. Friends will come with time, and as dailicious said, other friends are probably there even more than you'd realize it.
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