well, i lost my virginity on sunday to a good friend of mine. we talked about it beforehand. we used a condom with spermicidal lubricant. the condom DID NOT break, rip, or leak in any way. however, i developed a yeast infection... the boy i lost it to is being sort of a jerk, i understand that, we knew it would just be sex. it's okay with both of us... however... i've been sleeping very poorly, waking up with headaches and stomachaches, i can't eat without becoming nauseous, and i just want to stay in bed all day... i'm having my mother make me an appointment with a gynecologist this week to check for a pelvic inflammation or UTI, and she's not going with me, so i can tell them i was sexually active... but do you have any insight as to what's wrong with me? i mean... i'm just scared! we were so careful, trojan-enz with spermicidal lube, and even he swears it was fine... so why am i so scared????
First of all, we don't recommend using spermicide at all. It is notorious for causing irritation, and honestly there's not enough there to kill all the sperm. Skip the spermicide next time...use lots of extra water-based lube (like Astroglide or KY).
It may be a yeast infection or a UTI or just a reaction to the lube. Don't try to treat it yourself, just get yourself to the gyn asap!
well, nothing spilled, the condom was faultless, we used a brand reputed for it's safety... the spermicide couldn't have HURT anything, could it? i mean... something to do with pregnancy... and why do i feel so yucky!??!?
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As Kitten explained, spermicides can't exactly injure you, but nonoxynol-9, the spermicide used on condoms is essentially dish soap. That given, LOTS of people have sensitivities or allergic reactions to it (think about it: dish soap + gential tissue = ow). And having an allergic reaction can make a pesron MORE prone to contract an STD or STI.
No, it cannot make you pregnant. As far as feeling yucky, if you have a yeast infection or UTI, yeah, you're going to feel pretty lousy. Even if you did become pregnant should the condom HAVE broken, you would not be having symptoms this early in the game.
To boot, it sounds to me like the experience you had -- in terms of how this guy is being towards you now -- wasn't so great. Just that stress or dissapointment alone could give you a stomachache or make you depressed (the lethargy in terms of wanting to be in bed all day).
So, until you see the GYN, take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. get the rest you need, and process what you need to -- if you're upset, pissed or dissapointed, let yourself feel that way rather than shoving it off or pretending it's all okay if it really isn't.
It's okay to have (responsible!) casual sex, or sex that's just for fun, but if it's coming with emotional pain or upset, you might want to consider whether it's really worth it. For the dangers and responsibilities that come with it, you might as well enjoy what you're doing, and having a partner who's a 'jerk' isn't really conducive to that. It is possible to find someone you feel happy and comfortable with, if that's what you're looking for, and it's also possible to find an excellent, caring, fulfilling lover in yourself. This is, of course, my opinion, not necessarily anyone else's, but I'd suggest you re-evaluate what you're getting out of this arrangement, and find a way to get yourself better. If anyone's worth making the effort for, it's you, right?
------------------ Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP
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