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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » Scared to Death. May be pregnant!

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Author Topic: Scared to Death. May be pregnant!
evilmisfit
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I'm scared to death that I'm pregnant. I'm getting all the signs. I looked up signs of being pregnant, and I have almost all of them. Gaining weight over a short period of time, having to go to the bathroom all of the time, increased appetite, discharge, and tiredness. My period is not a factor because I shouldn't be getting it for about two more weeks.. but I did things with my boyfriend a few weeks ago and I was unprotected.

I should take an at home pregnancy test. I know this. But when is the soonest I can take it to get a result, and should I tell my mother? What about my boyfriend? Someone told me not to tell him until I know for sure so that I don't freak him out. I'm so scared.


Posts: 27 | From: California | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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never ever never never rely on "symptoms" to tell you if you are pregnant. Especially in circumstances where you might be "freaked out."

if it has been 10-14 days since you had sex or after you have missed a period, you can take a home pregnancy test reliably.

also, go get an STD screen. it is a healthy and responsible habit, and especially important since you have had unprotected sex (and don't give me that "but i was a virgin and he's been living in a cave with no human contact" ... tut tut tut! )

as for talking to your boyfriend, you should always be upfront with him, especially about something as urgent as a pregnancy scare. Tell him you are concerned. Discuss your options should anything go wrong or go right. And if you aren't pregnant, take him to the drugstore and both of you buy condoms and water-based lube (KY or Astroglide, for example). Learn to use them and you'll have a lot more peace of mind

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
evilmisfit
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I'm stupid for not using protection. I know.. but if I'm pregnant, I'm really in trouble. I'm 17, about to graduate, and my boyfriend is 20. He hates kids, and I don't even want to think about abortion as an option.
Posts: 27 | From: California | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Honey, there's not much to say after the fact like this: this was the choice you both made and it's done now.

Really, before you get sexually active with anyone, these are conversations you need to have with them, in terms of what the two of you will do should you become pregnant, ESPECIALLY if you're not using birth control.

Mind you, he chose not to use it just like you did, so putting it all on yourself isn't right either. To boot, what you do inevitably is up to you, not up to him: it's YOUR body, not his body.

None of the options for pregnancy, for the record, are the stuff of nightmare. None of them. Not abortion, not adoption, not childbirth and parenting. They're all doable and there are ways to make them all okay.

So, get the test. Take it. And talk to the guy. If he wasn't willing to deal with a pregnancy, that's his problem for not using a bleedin' condom and yours, sweets. If you are pregnant, research your options and get a sense for what feels like it might be best for you and think it through.

But first, you get the test and you take it. Waiting doesn't make pregnancies go away.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68215 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
evilmisfit
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Thanks Miz Scarlet. I'm so scared, I've been on the verge of tears for about two days. I'm going to buy the test as soon as I can.. but I'll have to travel away to get it because I live in a small town and I know everone at the pharmacy.. Plus, the store I work at that has the test, has everyone I know and my boyfriend included... working there.

.. so one more question... Should I tell my mom about my possibility of being pregnant or should I tell her AFTER I know I'm pregnant after I take the test? She already knows that I'm being physical with him and told me earlier that I should go on the pill... so its not like she doesnt know I'm not physical with him.. but I'd like to know the best option.


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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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The best option there really depends on what your relationship with your Mom is and what feels right to you.

Though it sounds like right now you could really use a bit of support and help -- so if it's a good relationship, it might be best for you right now to let her in on it.

I don't think it'll be a surprise though to tell you you should likely be prepared for your Mom to feel pretty dissapointed, especially if she'd been trying to help you have sex responsibly, such as suggesting you get on contraceptives (for the record, you do also have STD and STI risks -- don't dismiss them, nor should you assume the pill alone if you do get to that point is enough. It is not).

Might also want to bear in mind that knowing folks should not deter you from getting a test as soon as you can. if you can travel elsewhere easily, like today or tomorrow, fine. But if not, just go get the darned test.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68215 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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