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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Emergencies and Crises » What's Wrong With Me?

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Author Topic: What's Wrong With Me?
Worried576
Neophyte
Member # 10796

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I seriously think I have some sort of sperm phobia. Everything my vagina comes in contact with, I think it could have had sperm on it, even if it was a week or so ago. I cant go a week without worrying, it seems. Its terrible because I know that sperm dry up in 20 minutes when exposed to air, but I keep thinking..(what if it was still alive for some reason?) I dont even think sperm came in contact with anything either..(a toilet seat, sheets, etc) I have the worst case of the "what if's" if you would like to call it that. I want to stop worrying, I really do..what can i do?
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ErinK
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

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Why are you worried so much about coming into contact with sperm? Is it the pregnancy risk? The STD risk? Is it some other kind of anxiety?

It might be worth looking at why you're anxious, and thinking of some sensible ways to combat that anxiety. If you'd like to talk about it some more, reply to this post and we'll help you brainstorm.


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Worried576
Neophyte
Member # 10796

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I believe that what I'm most worried about the pregnancy risk, I don't (anymore) do anything that would even envolve a risk of pregnancy due to sort of a scare a month ago, and now I know I'm not quite ready yet to do things of a sexual nature (I've never had intercourse). Sperm can't live on ANY objects for a long amount of time (right?), but why am I worried? The only thing I can think of is last month, when I was so scared that I told my mother and she wouldn't speak to me for over a week...I just dont want anything like that to happen again, is all.
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ErinK
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

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20 minutes. Really. Honest. And then they're dead. You know what? You're really not at risk if you're just coming into contact with every day objects. Guys don't just go around leaking sperm everywhere, and it's pretty obvious if someone's ejaculated onto something (large wet spots, stickiness, etc). Try to relax about that part.

It sounds like you had a scare, and that it might have impacted your relationship with your mom. Those are both hard things. Why don't you cut yourself a break? Try being nice to yourself -- do things you enjoy, take good care of yourself, and make sure that you get the information you need to make sexual choices responsibly. You might also want to try getting closer to your mom, and working to have a good relationship with her, if that's something you think you'd want.

Focus your worry on taking care of yourself and building positive relationships with people in the world around you, and I think you'll find it has better consequences than checking for sperm everywhere.

p.s. really. 20 minutes. honest.


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Worried576
Neophyte
Member # 10796

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Thank you so much for all your advice, it's really helped me. I'm starting to make amends with my mother, which I am really happy about. Can I ask one more question on this topic, just to ease my mind completely? See..this was the latest thing I worried about. If I washed my vagina out (I dont feel clean if I dont do it once in a while) after I (may have) had sperm in me (dry sex with clothing on), could the face cloth have picked up the sperm that (may have been) inside of me (living in cervical mucus,as I read it can live there for a couple days)? If I used it again, could the sperm have a second chance? This is rediculous, but its the last thing I need to know to feel completely at ease. Thanks again.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Let's try and clear one thing up at a time.

In cases when semen, and thus sperm, enters the vagina, it cannot be washed out. It can't. To boot, douching or washing out the INSIDE of your vaginal canal is an unhealthy thing to do, and can lead to infections. It may make you "feel" more clean, but it doesn't do that at all. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ and not only does the job by itself with no help at all, trying to do it better actually makes you prone to being LESS clean and healthy.

So, be nice to your body -- don't do that.

Sperm cannot be "reactivated" by water or any other substance.

Lastly, given your anxities, I'd suggest you really consider if any sexual activity is right for you right now. With dry sex, if you're both wearing thick clothing, sperm are not going to be entering your vagina. But even with all this cleared up, if you're still having these fears, it's likely a very big signal that right now, you'd feel a whole lot better without sexual activity.

Think about it.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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Worried576
Neophyte
Member # 10796

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I just wanted to thank everyone..this site is so great, I cant believe I got all this helpful information so easily and quickly! Sorry I keep responding, but I have one quick question..

I didn't really mean "could it be re-activated by another substance", but I meant more along the lines of "could the sperm have come out of me, and put back in me again--thus having a second chance at fertilizing." (There was like a day in between) I didn't know cleaning the canal was bad for you..thank you, I wont do that again


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logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

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As Miz S has explained, it really doesn't sound at all likely that there was any sperm in your vagina anyway, so there won't have been any sperm to get onto the flannel in the first place .

If there was sperm in your vagina (and it doesn't sound as if there was), then you'd have a pregnancy risk regardless of whether or not any sperm might conceivably have got from your vagina onto your flannel and back into your vagina for a second time.


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