Hey, I just wanted to ask some questions about manual sex.
My boyfriend has fingered me a couple of times in the past year. However, I don't really get much pleasure from it. It actually hurts a little, no matter how long foreplay lasts. Also, he can never seem to find my G-spot. Is it possible that I just don't have one?
I also wanted to ask a question about ovulation. How can you tell whether you are ovulating or not?
Finally, I just wanted to make sure I got this right: even if my boyfriend fingered me with a little pre-ejaculate on his hands, as long as a) he hadn't ejaculated in the past 24 hours, and b) his hands weren't dripping in pre-ejaculate, it's not possible to get pregnant, correct?
Posts: 178 | Registered: Aug 2011
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When you and your partner engage in manual sex, are you plenty aroused and interested in what's happening? Do you use enough lube and make sure to go slow or stop if you feel any pain?
How well do you know your body? Do you masturbate?
For your second question, the only way to accurately predict ovulation is if you chart your cycles regularly. Charting cycles involves taking your basal temperature and checking your cervical mucus daily. Once you've done that for a while, you'll start to see a pattern that will help you predict your ovulation date.
Not everyone experiences pleasure from the G-spot; some people don't feel anything at all, and some people even feel discomfort when there is pressure placed on that area (which is on the top wall of the vagina, just slightly beyond the opening). The same goes with partnered sex as with masturbation; if it feels good, do it some more, and if it doesn't feel good, don't do it. So, if fingering doesn't feel good, it's not something you have to do.
What do you think?
-------------------- Robin Posts: 4407 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011
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There's no "wrong" way to masturbate -- masturbation is all about what works for YOU. So, have you tried masturbating in various ways? Just for example, some people like direct stimulation of the clitoris while others prefer indirect. Some people masturbate with the use of vibrators or other sex toys, some people use shower heads, etc. There's an infinite amount of possibilities, so if you haven't taken the time to try various possibilities, then that's definitely something you should do. Also, a lot of people need to be really aroused and "in the mood" before they start masturbating for it to feel good. So that might be something for you to consider, too. Here's an article that goes into this more in-depth: How Do You Masturbate?
As for your second question -- it really depends on the person, too. Some people find that they are alright with the amount of lubrication they produce, but plenty of people aren't. Adding lube can really increase your sensitivity and comfort, and a lot of people like using it (even if they don't "have to"). You can't really go wrong with lube, so it's at least something to try out!
To chart your menstrual cycle, you'll have to talk to a doctor/GYN and they will be able to teach you how to take and interpret your basal temperature, along with all the other things you need to do with charting. Here are a couple of our articles on menstrual charting/"FAM", though, so you can learn the basics: It's Smart to Chart Get With the Flow: All About FAM
And for your final question! There's no exact statistics on how long sperm will live in the penis. From what we do know, it's estimated that sperm can live within the body for around 5 days. However, when the person urinates, it clears the urethra of any sperm, so they wouldn't have the chance to live in the urethra for five days! So usually you can safely assume the pre-ejaculate is sperm-free if he has urinated at least once or twice since his last ejaculation.
Hope that helps!
Posts: 1123 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008
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