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Author Topic: Child on child sexual abuse?
tigerfishy
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I realized recently that as a child I may have experienced child-on-child sexual abuse. I hadn't thought anything of it at the time, but looking at it now, I may have. When I was 8 a friend and I would play house and she would climb on top of me and hump me. We were both clothed, and at the time, I just thought, well since married couples have sex, this is normal.

Then when I was 10, my cousin's 12 year old boyfriend did something similar, after taking my first kiss, and he and his sister both pressured me to hump him back. I did, because of that pressure.

I became quite promiscuous in middle school. I made out with more people than I could count, had been fingered by 5 people by the time I was 14, and had even 69'd with another girl when I was 13. A lot of this was cheating. I'm starting college this year, I've been in the same relationship for 3 and a half years, and I'm so much different now, and he is the only partner I've had vaginal intercourse with. But I know that sexual abuse can cause someone to become hypersexual or promiscuous at a young age and I thought that could explain a lot of things.

So my main question is: Did I experience sexual abuse?

[ 09-20-2011, 03:33 PM: Message edited by: Fishy ]

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I'm not a professional, just a peer. But I will provide the best, most honest advice I can.

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Heather
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I know it can be tough to remember, but do you have any recollection of not wanting to engage in that kind of -- what is often for kids that age, anyway -- sexual play? Or only doing that out of fear or feeling unable to say no?

The activity itself isn't automatically abusive: it's very common for children to engage in kinds of sexual play or exploration together like that.

It sounds like with your cousin's boyfriend, you are remembering feeling pressured. So, it seems that instance may have been an abuse.

The idea that people who have been sexually abused become hypersexual is an iffy one. For sure, some abuse survivors may seek out more sexual activity than others, and do so with motivations that have to do with abuse. others may not, and some people may engage in that behaviour when they haven't been abused, too. Sometimes there's a why (or more than one) around that sometimes there isn't.

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tigerfishy
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Well, with my cousin's boyfriend I was scared and didn't want to, but I felt like he would do something worse if I didn't listen to him.

With my friend I remember not really caring all that much and going along with it because I didn't care.

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I'm not a professional, just a peer. But I will provide the best, most honest advice I can.

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Heather
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So, it sounds like in the first incident, with your friend, you two were probably just engaging in the kind of non-abusive sexual play children will tend to.

In the latter incident, it sounds clearly to me like we are talking about an abuse.

Where do you want to take this from here?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68215 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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