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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » I like to touch myself in ways i shouldnt, I need some help!

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Author Topic: I like to touch myself in ways i shouldnt, I need some help!
Member # 73140

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I like to touch mydelf in wierd, well i dont think its wierd,But NEways,ya i need some help understanding my sexual erges/

Im so confused I Need some help

Posts: 5 | From: dennville ohio | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Do you want to explain to us what you mean by touching in "ways you shouldn't"? After all, it's your body, and as long as you are not harming yourself, it's perfectly fine to touch yourself in any way you like.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 73140

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ok well from a young age i have been curious about why its custom to choose what sexuality one is preefference to, for instence i believe i am a straight male but i can look at a good lookin guy and tell you he is good lookin and not feel a bit embarressed or ashamed about my opinion. I know what i like and thats that. Now Im Coming to a point n my life that i have decided to settle down and me and my soon to be wife are gonna have a baby.IT CAME ON SO FAST IT SCARED ME! Now my once far and few erges to stimulate myself anally or my thoughts and fantisies have pushed there way right to the fro nt lines of my overwhelmed brain.Im not doubting that i am ne thing other than a straight male I am just curious to know if the erges have a meaning and if i should fulfill them or try to hold them in and let them fade away. I am slightly worried that my significant other may take my "alone time actions" the wrong way. I just dont know if trying to work my personal fantisies into both of our lives is a good idea. sory if if it seems like im having a hard time actually asking a question but as u can probably tell im new to being open with sensitive subjects. I just need an outside opinon or professional view point on if its ne thing outside of all natural sexual curiosity to want to know what it feels like to be Different.and is it healthy to ignore these new powerfull erges or to act apon them NOW while im still confortable with them.....

[ 07-27-2011, 01:40 AM: Message edited by: iforgot ]

Im so confused I Need some help

Posts: 5 | From: dennville ohio | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I'm not sure what you mean when you ask what it feels like "to be Different." Different from whom? In what way?

Are you also assuming that your partner doesn't masturbate herself? or that it's not common for people to masturbate who are part of a couple or who are married?

Have you two had open talks together about sex and sexuality yet, including talking about orientation and masturbation?

I'm also not sure I understand what you mean about wondering if you should try and fulfill your fantasies: what fantasies? And whatever they are, are they wishes -- things you think you'd really want to do in real life -- or only fantasies -- things that excite you and you think about, but wouldn't want to do in real life, or do at this point in your life?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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I see you wrestling with a couple of different ideas here, so let me toss out a couple of things and ask a few questions and we'll see if that helps.

First, there are all sorts of folks who are interested in anal stimulation. There are also all sorts of folks who are not interested in anal stimulation. Furthermore, interest in a give sexual activity (intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, etc.) is not automatically directly related to one's biological sex, gender, or sexual orientation.

So in other words, it would be incorrect to say any of the following (for example):
No men like anal stimulation.
All/only gay men like/want anal stimulation.
No straight men like/want anal stimulation.

All of those statements would be wrong. We can't generalize about what everybody wants or likes. Nor is it correct to assume that a given type of sex is automatically connected to a gender or orientation. What somebody likes or doesn't like is primarily based on them as an individual.

You're saying that you identify as male and straight and that you are also interested in exploring anal stimulation. There's no underlying "meaning" there beyond that nor is there anything wrong or unusual about it.

If you want to explore anal stimulation for yourself, we'd be happy to provide you with some links to articles and information about anal sex and how to undertake those activities (whether it's alone or with a partner) in a safe manner.

A second issue I see you raising here is that you're concerned about how your partner will perceive your sexual desires and needs. Have you talked with your partner before about sex? How have those conversations gone?

Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

Finally, you mention that your partner is pregnant and that it "came on fast". A pregnancy is a big change in anyone's life and relationship. Is that something you want to talk about as well? How are you both feeling surrounding the pregnancy?

ETA: Heather beat me to it.

[ 07-27-2011, 10:42 AM: Message edited by: KittenGoddess ]

Sarah Liz

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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