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Member # 48959

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I found this site googling, and it has helped me a LOT, so thank you very very much.

I'd like to apologize if my english is hard to understand.

I got a few questions in my mind. Some of them have been there for a long time, the others, more important to me, are quite new. Here are two of them:

1) I've been in a relationship for seven happy months now. The first two times I penetrated my girlfriend, she came, but after that, never again. A month ago, I started masturbating her and by doing so, she's able to come, but only that way. With her older boyfriend, she used to come anytime they had sex. I first thought that I wasn't lasting long enough, but it used to take like 30' for me to come and sometimes she got tired of doing it for so long. I've tried several ways to make her reach orgasm this way, but I always fail and end up doing it by masturbating her. I have also noticed that she enjoys penetration a LOT more than masturbation, even if she doesn't come. What can I do about it? Should I get used to it?

2) I have noticed that, with time, it take less and less time for me to ejaculate. As I said before, I could penetrate my girlfriend for 30' or more time before doing it, but now... I can hardly reach 3' or 4'. My time decreased slowly.

I tried to find an answer, but no one seems to have the same problem, or at least, there are no topics about it.

When we started having sex, I used to go to the gym (went for several years), do some swimming and have a balanced diet. Now, with university and my job, I don't train at all and I usually eat garbage food. Does it have something to do with it?

Thanks for helping me [Smile]

Posts: 2 | From: Argentina | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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With your first question, a few things. Understand that anyone, especially someone with a female body, reaching orgasm every single time with sex is unusual. Someone reaching it every single time for vaginal intercourse, specifically, is exceptionally rare.

Now, who knows what she means by that, or what else their intercourse included, which might be something to talk about. But only a minority of women reach orgasm from intercourse alone regularly. Most who do do because other activities -- like the manual sex you're describing -- are made part of that sex.

How long a male partner "lasts" often isn't the biggest part of that equation, since one of the biggest issues is that the most sensitive parts of the vagina and vulva just aren't as well-stimulated by intercourse as by other kinds of sex. Her getting off very easily the first few times also may have been impacted by how aroused and excited she was, which can be higher when a relationship is new for many people.

Per your next question, it's fairly common for people to reach orgasm more quickly in more established sexual relationships where they have gotten more comfortable sexually over time, but also where they and their partners have learned what works best for them together.

I doubt any of this has to do with your own lifestyle, however, just for your general health, you'll want to figure out how to get a little more active again and to eat better.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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