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Author Topic: Am i totally wrong here?
Member # 39072

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my boyfriend and i have been seeing each other for almost 6 months but i'm having a problem and its like a clash between or two personalities
he has it in his head that he can only see me a certain number of days a week....and he wants to try to stick rigidly to that number
but i personally think this is really weird, i mean i've never really been in a very serious relationship before and he had a fiancee of a number of years a year or so back
he says that its a "too much of a good thing" kinda thing to see me more often than that, but i really miss him when i'm not seeing him
do you think him needing space is a reflection on him losing interest in me or is he just trying to keep us together?
and am i mad to miss him when we've only been apart for a day or two? like is that being dependant or obsessive?

Posts: 54 | From: Ireland | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Neither of you are weird. You're just different right now.

he wants to make sure he has time for himself, time without you around. Nothing wrong with that, nor does that mean he's disinterested. Many people want time for themselves.

You want more time with him than he wants to spend together. You like him: there's nothing wrong with you wanting more time.

You're both okay, just sounds like you need to find a compromise that works for both of you.

Now, if you worry this is because he's losing interest, that certainly is something you can also check in with him about it, asking how he's feeling about the relationship. But Id not just assume that because someone wants some time for themselves as well as time with a partner.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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