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Author Topic: Ugh..not again!
LovinLife
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Hi there, i have had pregnancy scares before and questioning about antibiotic interference and such. Well here we go again. I have been on aviane 28 for almost a year now. At the beginning of this cycle i forgot to take my pill so it ended up being 2 hrs late on my first one. I havent missed any other ones. I was wondering if this will make a difference. I had a slight cramp and then i had some strechy discharge. Mind you the discharge i have experienced before. It happenes in the morning after i have had sex with my boyfriend and i'm sure it is just his "cum", as it is not any consistancy that is like mine. I am now experiencing very thick, very white, creamy discharge and quite a bit of it. THis is normal but of course being the worrier that i am...i find someway to think i could have ovulated..like i got to close and it got in me through Osmosis..jk..but please..if you could answer my question on whether or not that could have done anything?? Thanks so much! [Smile]

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In Love

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Horizon
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LovinLife, while it is really important that you begin your packs on time, two hours is not a big deal. During any day you take your active pills, you have a three-hour window either way, meaning that if you aim to take your pill at 4 pm, you may take the pill as early as 1 pm or as late as 7 pm. And not to mention, discharge will look different from time to time. If you have had intercourse without a condom since then, you can take a pregnancy test 10-14 days after that risk, but I don't believe this is something you need to worry over. Can we help you with anything else?

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-Kayla
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"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses." -Hippocrates

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LovinLife
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Well he didnt use a condom so that is a concern a little but since it doesnt make a difference then im good with that area. Now..thank you for asking!! [Smile] My breasts are SOOOOO sore along with my nipples. like its crazy! why could this be happening??

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In Love

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orca
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If I understand you correctly, you did not miss the pill but only took it 2 hours late? If that is correct, then there was not a viable risk. You have a 3 hour time period (either 3 hours before, or 3 hours after your normal pill time) to take the pill, and a pill is only considered "missed" if you take it later than 12 hours after the pill time. Also, most pill manufacturers (assuming it's a combination pill, not a progesterone-only pill) say in their pamphlets that if you only miss 1 pill you don't need to use a back-up method (of course, we always recommend a back-up method of condoms until both partners have received two full and negative STI screens taken six months apart).

How are things going for you otherwise? You posted this problem with your boyfriend and family about a month ago, and this problem with your boyfriend about two and a half months ago. Are you still seeing the same guy? If so, is it possible that some of the anxiety you are experiencing about this pregnancy risk could be related to your relationship with him?

(ETA: looks like Kayla is waaay faster than me tonight!)

[ 01-09-2009, 06:25 PM: Message edited by: orca ]

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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LovinLife
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My life is absolutely horrible atm with boyfriend and parental issues...i wish things would get better but they arent! [Frown] I've tried so many different things and nothing works! Im at the end of my rope.
Thank you so much for asking, you have no idea how much happier that makes me feel [Smile]
oh..ps..any idea about the pain??

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In Love

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Horizon
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I'll help out with your physical question, LovinLife.

At certain times of the months, our breasts are just more sensitive than other times. It frequently has to do with hormonal issues, but also, if you have changed laundry detergents or have been wearing a material that you are not used to, it may be irritating you.

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-Kayla
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orca
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I'm quite concerned with what you are saying here about all that's been happening in your life. Do you want to talk about what's been going on? Or are there any resources we can help connect you with?

(ETA: Wow, I'm really slow tonight!)

[ 01-09-2009, 06:33 PM: Message edited by: orca ]

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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LovinLife
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Thanks for the reply to the physical question. Now, im just feeling like omg, there is no reason to talk anymore cuz it doesnt get me anywhere, i have been on a rollercoaster of emotions and now i dont know what to do, im so confused and dont know where to turn. ive just been trying to deal with it, but its getting to be too much [Frown]

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In Love

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orca
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Okay, well let's talk about what's been going on since you last posted. Is that a good start for you?

[ 01-09-2009, 07:07 PM: Message edited by: orca ]

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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LovinLife
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Well my boyfriend and i got in this fight and such and he said some really nasty things. My parents called his and now im not allowed to see him for a month (his parents) and i cant talk to him on the phone (both). He broke up with me cuz his parents told him too and then changed his mind cuz he was like im not going to leave her cuz my parents told me to. So we are dating again and im so happy to be with him but i told my parents that we were cuz they said they will do anything and everything to keep us from each other. Im so overwhelmed and dont have ANY idea what to do. I began to tell my parents that i was going back with him and they FLIPPED! saying they will never let me be with him ever.

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In Love

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orca
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That definitely sounds like a tough spot to be in. What exactly was that argument with your boyfriend about? What kinds of things did he say?

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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LovinLife
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he was saying stuff like "wow we can never be together" and extememly controlling things like "where are you" you better call me now. Well like they're was profanity involved but i cant say it here. Now, i found out just now that he was all over a girl at a party last night. I feel so unwanted. Like im not enough! also he was being really sweet and such. Now my parents said i couldnt talk to him on the phone and he was like "no, you will find a way to call me or im leaving you...this is it!" ya...and i was like if you loved me liek you really wouldnt leave me cuz im obeying my parents. I'm so hurt right now! i cant believe this. I love him so much but im feeling very unloved atm. Like i honestly feel im not enough. Mind you i will go to any extent to do what he wants. It hurts to love someone so much and have them not want you...i just dont know what to do anymore [Frown] i want him but he doesnt want me [Frown] or at least he threatens to leave me..you know like if you are going to threaten it this much than just flippin do it!

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In Love

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LovinLife
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so i cant be pregnant right?? sorry for asking again

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In Love

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LovinLife
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could someone answer please? sorry for bugging you or sounding rude

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In Love

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orca
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I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Your post got a little lost in the shuffle.

We can't say for certain that there was ZERO risk of pregnancy, but certainly there was a pretty low risk. What you might consider doing is taking a pregnancy test once it's been 10-14 days since the risk, and that may help ease your fears.

Also, I would like to continue talking about this issue with your boyfriend and your family a bit more if that's okay. It seems that things have been pretty rotten for a few months now and that really worries me. Would you like to make a separate topic in another area just to discuss that? Or would you prefer to continue the discussion in this thread?

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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LovinLife
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I would like to in this thread if that's ok? I believe i am somewhat in depression or some kinda funk..and im scared..worried...I Just want my life back [Frown] I told my boyfriend about how im feeling and the thoughts that i have had and he got MAD! saying it was all just for attention and if i was serious then he is going to call the cops and have me put in a padded cell. No emotional support at all [Frown] I dont know what to do. Everytime i turn around i've done something else wrong. He fights with me alot lately..saying i dont listen to him..that i dont care or love about him..do you know how much that hurts! he told me the other day i was a horrible girlfriend. I'm going through so many emotional issues right now..i just dont know what to do. my parents dont know that we are still dating so i cant call him or see him outside of school or anything so he says he wants a girlfriend who is going to be around. Mind you i see him everyday at school! Also...i feel so inadequate..and threatened...and pushed into a corner..and i have no way out!.
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orca
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Honey, there is no possible way he could have you committed to an institution. For one thing, you're a minor, so if anyone has that authority, it would be your parents. Second, it's 2009, not 1789. People with mental illness aren't committed unless they want to be or they are a threat to themselves or others or have caused others physical harm (and even if you hurt someone else, you have to have a fair trial and a psychiatric evaluation; if you are considered a harm to yourself or others, that would have to be determined by a psychologist before anyone would commit you to an institution against your will). So what he's saying is total baloney, and really really manipulative and controlling.

You're not a horrible girlfriend for wanting your own life outside of your boyfriend. In a relationship, two people don't become one, but instead they maintain their separate friendships and relationships outside of one another, maintain their own interests and hobbies, and spend time together when it's what they both want, not because one is forcing the other. And you certainly aren't a horrible girlfriend for voicing your own feelings. In a good relationship, you should be able to, encouraged to, even, talk about how you are feeling and what you are thinking about without fear of retribution or belittlement from your partner.

Can I ask you what it is you are getting out of this relationship? From what you said, he's caused problems in your family, forced you to lie to your parents, threatened to send you to a mental institution, threatened to break up with you if you didn't do exactly what he wanted when he wanted, pushed you away from your friends, and just generally shown a lack of love, care, and support toward you. So what in this relationship do you still see as having value?

I'm sorry if I sound angry, but from everything you've said, this guy sounds like a class-A jerk and I know that you deserve far, far better than him. I want you to want better for yourself, too. Seeing how you keep going back to him, keep wanting to stay with him despite all he's done to you and how bad he's made you feel about yourself, I wonder if maybe you feel you don't deserve better, that this is all there is out there for you. Sweetie, you DO deserve better, there IS much more out there for you. There are something like 6 billion people on this planet, and a great many of them will make far better partners to you than this guy ever will.

You do have a way out, there is always a way out. You have the option of ending this relationship and seeking a new and better one for yourself with someone else. You have the option of taking a break from your boyfriend and seeing how you feel about yourself and the relationship in general and whether or not you want to stay in the relationship anymore. So what do you want to do now? You say you feel cornered and like there's no way out, but I showed you a couple of options (and believe me, there are many more). What exactly would you like to come of this?

[ 01-15-2009, 06:36 PM: Message edited by: orca ]

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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LovinLife
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Well believe or not, you just made me cry..in a good way tho. This is really helping finally getting this all out. like he said i need to get it so i can call mind you there is no way that is going to happen without a major fight happeneing. He says i have until monday or he is leaving me then and there cuz he needs a gf who is actually there. He also says how am i a gf when he sees other girls more than he sees me. I have a question? Isnt the difference between them and me a little thing called love?? I dont trust him. He cheated on me and he is definately the flirtatious type. I am wondering the same as what am i getting out of this? why am i soooo terrified to lose him? He told my friend that getting mad at me is the only way to get me to listen to him and do what he wants. I feel sooo inadequate. I just want to be happy ya know? is that too much to ask? can i never be just happy??
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