I'm 17 and a virgin. Most of my friends are sexually active and I pick up on some things. Like for starters the fact that when/if your hymen tears it causes pain for most women. Everytime I think I'm ready, and I get really close to someone I think about that pain and end up freaking out and ending the relationship. I've actually been diagnosed with a phobia of pain by my psychologist but he's a guy and I don't feel comfortable asking him how to get over that phobia in this particular case. And I'm not a fan of oral sex of mutual masturbation becuase it just feels weird and icky to me.So does it really hurt, and how bad? I'm very small if that matters. And how can I make it less painful when I find someone compatible? And one last question, is there some surgeory I could talk to my doctor about to remove my hymen altogether?
These will all help explain why intercourse doesn't have to and SHOULDN'T be painful, even the first time around.
As far as the hymen question, more often, hymens erode over time, instead of tearing all of the sudden. So your hymen may or may not even be there anymore. If you are considering sexual activity, get an appointment scheduled with an OB/GYN to take a peek down there, and make sure you are healthy. S/he'll be able to tell you. (If you use tampons, though, chances are your hymen is pretty well worn, or not there at all)
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