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Author Topic: Concerned
LadyLuck77
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I am three days late on my period, which is abnormal, because I am extremely regular, and well past my teenage years. Sometimes my period will come early, but I cannot remember in the past five or six years when it has been late. I'm not on antibiotics or under any big amount of stress.

My boyfriend and I use only condoms, but haven't seem to have had any risks. Nothing broke, nothing slipped, and he always checks for holes. The only thing that was of concern was by his standards: after he pulled out, the condom and base of his penis were both wet, and it appeared to have been from me. The secretions dried quickly, and the semen appeared to be completely secure in the tip.

Can someone help me make sense of this? I'm all mixed up.

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Heather
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Just from your posts lately, all the worry and panic over pregnancy risks, conflicts with your partner over birth control, hd already clearly had you really stressed out, Lady Luck.

Maybe it doesn't feel super-stressful to you, but as an observer, your posts have sounded pretty at-wits-end to me.

So, is there anything you can do over the next few days to relax? Like, REALLY relax?

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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LadyLuck77
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Yeah, you're probably right. I haven't felt stressed, but maybe I just wasn't conscious of it.

I am just really confused about the lateness and my partner is worried. But you know what? He almost seems a little triumphant. Like, "See? These things ARE risky." And I'm really just kind of pissed about it all. Sorry to vent.

[ 12-12-2006, 06:52 PM: Message edited by: LadyLuck77 ]

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LadyLuck77
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And I can take a few days off of work to relax, I suppose. I just don't FEEL stressed, so I don't exactly know how to relax...if that makes any sense.
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Heather
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Sure.

Sometimes, just taking time for things you really love to do, but often never have enough time to yourself TO do is a really great start.

(And yes: your partner reaction to this of non-support, rather than being supportive flatly sucks. So, asking him to be more supportive might also be a start, to say the least. After all, even with a real pregnancy risk, he wouldn't be the one pregnant, in which case I don't imagine he'd react that well to that approach, especially given how much he's been freaking out already NOT being the person who'd become pregnant.)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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LadyLuck77
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Thank you. I think you are right, I really do. And I agree. His reaction/support does suck. But I think I will deal with that later...right now I want to deal with this mysterious late period and trying to relax.

I could just take a pregnancy test, but for some reason, I just refuse at this point. I really don't see how I could've become pregnant. But who knows, right?

What do you think happened, if I am indeed pregnant? I realize it's dangerous to wallow in "what ifs", but what really COULD cause a pregnancy if I didn't have breakage, slippage, or leakage?

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dailicious
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Some condoms might end up with microscopic holes in them, but the chance of that happening is INCREDIBLY small (like we're talking less than a 1% chance).

The failure rates and effectiveness rates for condoms are usually tallied so based on condoms that do break or slip, or for partners who don't use condoms for ALL genital contact during sexual activity, or for those who may continue having intercourse with the same condom after the male has ejaculated and it's enough that the condom doesn't slip off, but as the man loses his erection some ejaculate dose end up at the base of the condom and comes in contact with the genitals, etc.

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Jean
aka dailicious
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LadyLuck77
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And furthermore, if a microscopic hole were to be present, it might not even be in the tip, right? It could be along the shaft, etc. So the odds of becoming pregnant from a teeny hole are remarkably, incredibly low, I'm guessing.
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Heather
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Really? This microscopic hole stuff comes from religious right AIDS/HIV propaganda.

When a condom is made, they're all tested before they're packaged in the factory for flaws like this.

So, yes, the chances are insanely low with pregnancy due to a manufacturing flaw.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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LadyLuck77
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Yep, you're right. HIV is notably smaller than sperm anyway, so sperm probably wouldn't even pass through a "hole" in latex, were there to be one.

No more condom questions, I'm serious. You've been very patient and kind with the steady stream of questions.

You know, I'm not a teenager, not even close, but this is by far the best sexual education/advice website I have ever seen. I would like to donate, on a regular basis, starting now. What do I need to do?

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Aw, shucks.

(And we get it, really, especially given the fact that when you live in a world full of sex panic, it's really, really hard to relax. Especially when your partner is freaking out, too.)

Thanks so much for wanting to donate!

On every main page of the site, starting right at http://www.scarleteen.com, there is a donation link on the top left hand bar at the bottom. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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