My girlfriend and I have decided we're both ready for sex, and tried for the first time last night; but to no avail, as even the most minute penetration was too painful for her. I'm quite experienced with other (non-virgin) girls, and I've never had this problem before. At first I considered she wasn't 'self lubricated' enough and gave the foreplay another go, but I have since discovered that it wasn't the problem - she was very moist, but still the pain was too much; so obviously, we just left it. Even being as gentle as possible manually is causing problems. The exact same scenario happened today, and it's very frustrating for her - despite my assurances it's not a real problem.
So I'm thinking it's to do with her hymen, which might not be fully perforated - I might be wrong. So I guess my question is 'what do we do'? We're investing in a lubricant, but I'm positive it won't be enough.
Artificial lube often makes quite a difference, and it's ok to use a fair sized amount. Try and see if it helps.
It's great that you're being patient and reassuring with her... that alone will do a lot to help her.
It's good that she's lubricated, but that doesn't necessarily mean that's she's totally (mentally and physically) relaxed. She's probably nervous & tensing up. Talk to her & see how she feels about this stuff.
Also, she may have a higher pain treshold than your previous partners, so keep that in mind.
She might feel more comfortable/aroused if she masturbates first; that way she won't feel as if something is being "done" to her. The superior position (her on top) will also help her control the speed/depth of penetration.
If even manual sex is consistently painful for her, she may have an underlying condition like vaginismus (where the vaginal muscles involuntarily contract because of psychological stress). Only her doctor can rule this in or out.
Posts: 455 | From: New York, NY | Registered: Apr 2005
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