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Author Topic: What's your opinion?
Member # 10208

Icon 5 posted      Profile for WantingtoPlease     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Whenever my girlfriend and I are "doing stuff", (we are waiting till marriage), but while I'm trying to pleasure her and bring her to orgasm, we always get so far, with oral sex, and stuff when she stops me from performing on her and goes after me because she says she's to the point where it's just "torture" ( in a good way though). I'm pretty sure she's never orgasmed and I didn't know if this "torture" means she's almost going to have an orgasm and just needs to hold out a little bit longer, or if its possible for women to not be able to have an orgasm without actual sex? Or if I'm maybe just not doing it right? (she's the only person I've ever done this stuff with) Just trying to return the favor.....any suggestions?
Posts: 3 | From: Chicago, Illinois, USA | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

Icon 1 posted      Profile for KittenGoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Talk to her about it.

We really can't tell you what's going on inside her head, cause we simply don't know. So you're going to have to ask her. Why not try talking about it in a non-sexual situation. That's going to be the best way to find out what's going on. Make sure you're not "doing stuff" so that you can both concentrate on the communication...maybe try sitting across the table from each other, or on opposite ends of the couch or something. You're going to have to ask her exactly what she means by the statements she's made...that way you'll know rather than being "pretty sure".

if its possible for women to not be able to have an orgasm without actual sex?

I'm a little confused about what that means. Around here, we believe that if it has the word "sex" in it, then it's "actual sex". Manual sex, dry sex, oral sex, anal sex...they're all sex, and they come with STD/STI and pregnancy risks, just like intercourse. And they're just as "actual" as intercourse is.

Scarleteen Advocate (and Labia Lady)

"The whole world is full of morons...they just congregate on the internet cause it's easy for them to push the buttons."

[This message has been edited by KittenGoddess (edited 10-09-2002).]

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 4764

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ashy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
First off, oral and manual sex, as well as "doing stuff" is sex. Sex does not even necessarily mean sexual activity with a partner.

So, yes, it's possible for women (and men!) to orgasm without haivng intercourse. Usually, orgasms in women are caused by stimulation of the clitoris. However, everyone's different, and it's necessary to communicate with your partner and find out what she likes.

I suggest that you and your girlfriend read the following articles together, followed by some good discussion:
Sexual Response and Orgasm – A User’s Guide
Mouthing Off On Oral Sex
Safe, Sound & Sexy – A Safer Sex How-To

Posts: 1784 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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