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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » EXPERT ADVICE » Ask Scarleteen » THe Hymen (Popping a cherry)

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Author Topic: THe Hymen (Popping a cherry)
Member # 10194

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Hey, I need your help. Me and my girlfriend are gonna get together and she wants me to finger her, but I'm afraid that her cherry hasn't been popped (she told me she's never had an orgasm) and I heard terrible shit like that when a girl has sex for the first time or even gets eaten out or fingered, her cherry pops and it's bloody and painful. I'm goin to her house and I really wanna be sure that it's not like I'll finger her and then she'll start gushing blood all over her beadspread...that would suck. Please, help me out!!!!!
Posts: 1 | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Welcome to Myth Mashing 101. Have a seat.

Having had aan orgasm or not having had one has but zippo to do with the state of a woman's hymen, especially since MOST women cannot orgasm from vaginal penetration alone.

The hymen does not "pop." Ever. It erodes, slowly, over time, with or without sexual activity in most cases. Sometimes, some sexual activity can cause stretching or small tears of an existing hymen. However, in most young women who were born with hymens, it is usuually partially eroded already. So, while some bleeding can occur, with gentle sexual activity when a woman is aroused, done at her pace, no blood-gushing is going to occur.

However, I'd take a look at your feelings about this. Sex involves lots of body bits, including bodily fluids. It's pretty normal to deal with them somewhat regularly, and if that's buzzkill for you, I'd consider if not just she but YOU are really ready and interested in this.

I'd also suggest that before you get involved in this way that you take a few steps back and take the time to educate yourself on it all a bit more -- her too. Like, say with this: Pink Parts Ð Female Sexual Anatomy, and this: Ready or Not? ÐThe Readiness Checklist
and this: Safe, Sound & Sexy Ð A Safer Sex How-To
and this: Magical Cups & Bloody Brides.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

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As we are prone to say here, there are no fruit in the female genitals . There's no "cherry", nor anything that goes "pop".

There is often, however, such a thing as a hymen. Some girls are born without hymens, and some girls find that their hymens have been eroded by things like physical exercise or tampon use before they ever come to be sexually active. Whether someone's hymen is intact or not has nothing to do with whether they've ever had an orgasm.

If someone's hymen is intact, it may be stretched or eroded when they start to have sex involving penetration.This can sometimes cause pain or bleeding, but it's very very unlikely to involve agonizing pain or gushing blood.

My favourite analogy (which I read somewhere) is that a hymen isn't like the paper seal on a new jar of coffee that you have to "pop", it's like a tight neck on a new sweater the first time you pull it over your head. A seam might tear. It might just stretch with no problems. Or it might take a couple of tries to stretch it.

So there isn't necessarily a big dramatic "breaking your hymen" moment which only happens on one occasion.

Even if you're not contemplating intercourse yet, First Intercourse 101 has all the hymen facts and should give you a much more realistic picture.

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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