i think a good start is the simple yes/no question. if he asks you if you like this, and you like it, you can nod and agree. if oyu don't like it, definitely say so.

from there, you can start articulating things. he asks, "do you like this?" you can reply, "yes, but i'd like it better if this." kinda get the gist?

avoid slang. slang terms carry a "dirtier" connotation to them, and chances are they're going to be more uncomfortable for you. don't worry about sounding like a textbook if you say "vagina" after all, that is its proper name and should be used as such anyway.

and lastly, try practicing these words whether by conversations in your own head and things you'd really like to say, but can't quite eek out the words.

Now, that's not to say I agree with them wholeheartedly - but I think when you replaced the word 'immature' with 'uncomfortable,' you hit the nail on the head. It sounds like you are very uncomfortable with talking about sex, and your boyfriend's got the right idea - lots of communication is necessary in a healthy relationship, and the best way to figure out sex is by talking about it before you do anything about it.

Now, that doesn't mean that you are bad, or dumb, or dirty - all it means is that you're uncomfortable, and it seems like usually we're uncomfortable with things we don't know a lot about.

Do you know about your body's anatomy? You can find out a lot at Pink Parts: Female Sexual Anatomy.

Have you learned about birth control methods and STD prevention? You can check out some methods and comparisons at Margaret Sanger's Disneyland, and the Infection Section.

Want to know about first-time intercourse? We have a great sexual primer at Intercourse 101.

And we even have an article about talking with your partner about sex, at Take Two.

Give these a look-see, and browse around the boards awhile. Maybe you'll find some things to help you feel a bit more comfortable about your body and talking about it.

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~lemming, Scarleteen Advocate

"Years ago, I was an angry young man/I'd pretend that I was a billboard/Standing tall by the side of the road/I fell in love with the beautiful highway..."-Talking Heads, "(Nothing but) Flowers"

[This message has been edited by lemming (edited 03-03-2002).]