Meep. I think I didn't phrase that clearly. I'm over him by this point--though I wouldn't mind resuming things if we were both single and wanted it, I'm happy dating other people, and happy having him as a friend. I don't want *him* back. My concern is that I won't be able to feel that physical chemistry with someone else, since it hasn't happened with anyone else I've dated, and/or that I won't be able to feel it in a relationship that's not so intense that I end up making a fool of myself.
Posts: 5 | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged |
After many, many years of dating, i can honestly say the "chemistry" thing is really a mixed bag.
Sometimes, it can start out very intensely, and fizzle quickly. Other times, while you might adore your partner, the chemistry is pretty understated. sometimes, it might not be "all that" from the beginning, but it will grow and change into something else.
Chemistry really is about trial and error, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. It differs greatly from person to person, depending on how you and your partner interact, as well as any number of different life circumstances. Don't fret, it is one of those things that will work itself out.
Now, as far as revving-up your own engine (so to speak) engage in activities, personally, that turn you on: exploring erotic art, literature, and your own body is a great way to see how your own personal chemistry works...
how do you know what you had was "the greatest?"
i had an ex who i thought was primo-supremo in bed. no doubts about it, i though. i didn't think i'd get it that good ever again. but fast forward a few months later after he and were long over, i found a new guy (or rather, he found me). And y'know what? it's even better. can't say it was something awesome right out of the starting gates, but I can say we managed to work our way to a point where now we know each others bodies very well, we're comfortable together, and we *really* enjoy sex together.
it can happen. and i'm not doubting that later on down the line, i can have something as good or even better with someone else, someday...
so, good luck, and don't go in thinking it'll never be good again. a lot of sex is in your head, and with thinking like that, you're only gonna bring yourself down, and no *awesome* partner in the world can fix that for you.
------------------ Living proof that it's hip to be square .
Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000
| IP: Logged |
Copyright 1998, 2013 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.